Richard and I have been posting comments on the "This is for you" blog on this website, but now that you are here, maybe we can all settle on this one, "Quitters1dayatatime". I'll leave him a note and suggest that we switch to this blog.
My "friend", I think she wasn't sure (last year) if I had really quit or if it was just temporary. We only see them maybe 3 times a year and its always a holiday. She knows now. And she also knows that my husband has quit as well. It was all good that night. No pressure, from anyone. It was enjoyable to not have to worry about being judged for NOT drinking.
Bell~~ I noticed in the post by QUITTER on the home page in the blog THIS IS FOR YOU, has been sober since September 23, 2006. Isn't that also your quit day, or close to it?
Well, I'm happy that we are back in communication. I really like this site. I hope that Jasmine joins us soon, and that others find us here.
Gotta go do my daily relaxation exercise (30 minutes in a darkened room with relaxation music). It must be working for me, because I have been quite calm since I started doing it.
Ooops! A stinking thought! Last night, just before the start of my 3-day weekend, I thought, “It would be great to go into party mode while watching the election returns.” This was after I had been feeling so great with 48 days of sobriety. Then I told myself, “N.F. Way! It ain’t gonna happen!”
I’m okay today. I will make it through this weekend just fine. I just remembered, I’ve been negligent in reading my Quit Drinking affirmation lately. I am going to read it now, and resume reading it daily.
YES quitter is me :) I made this blog :) I just randomly found a place where I could start my own blog and made it with the help of jas :)It's ours to do as we please. That's why it took a while to figure it out. I didn't realize that I had started 3 different archives. So we can stick to this one. Jas, any suggestions on how to get the link out. I'll try doing a search on google and see if I can find it.
Great decision to NOT drink Roger. It would be so easy to slip up. You did great.
Here is an excerpt from the Introduction in the book, A Drinking Life, by Pete Hamill:
“More than twenty years have gone by since I stopped drinking. My father died at eighty; my mother lives on. I’m happily married to a wonderful woman and work even harder than I did when young. But life doesn’t get easier when you walk away from the culture of drink; you simply live it with greater lucidity.
I started writing this book when some of my friends from the drinking life began to die. They were decent, talented, generous, and humane. But as they approached the end, physically ruined by decades of drinking, I remembered more of their good times than they did. In a way, this book is about them too.”
A couple of other excerpts:
“And I said to myself, I’m never going to do this again. I finished my drink. It was the last one I ever had.”
“I didn’t join Alcoholics Anonymous. I didn’t seek out other help. I just stopped. My goal was provisional and modest: one month without drinking. For the first few weeks, this wasn’t easy. I had to break the habits of a lifetime. But I did some mechanical things. I created a mantra for myself, saying over and over again, “I will live my life from now on, I will not perform it.”
Hi, Day 80. (Just lost comment-and am reposting.) Had a Great day, Up at 5:00 to vote for 6:00-felt great!!!(I remember stumbling home drunk at 5:00...) Smart move Roger- I had those feelings for a minute while walking home from the gym. "go to a bar...watch election......" ended up at home, treated myself to a great meal. Really inspired to keep moving forward! All the best, Richard
ya I do like the Beatles but it was my neighbor when I was young that sang that song to me all the time so it has just stuck with me. Rbjazztp~ you are just about at 90 days. Thats a 1/4 of a year already:) how about that.
Great weekend! Happy with election outcome. Nothing spectacular to report – lots of relaxing and TV watching. Today, I’ll venture out of the cave and do a little shopping.
Hi, Day 82. Thanks Bell~ I am trying to help someone who I care about a whole lot quit drinking/smoking and get healthy (we happen to live together...). After last weekend, she told me she really wanted to quit and get healthy etc.... How do you help someone and not appear/act controlling? (She wanted to buy some beers tonight and I discouraged her....) I'm sure she'll thank me in the morning- It's a bit tricky as we live together......( causing a bit of tension in the air)- I really do love/appreciate a healthy sober life!.... Hope everyone is doing great!!! Best, Richard
Richard, hopefully your friend will learn by example. She has scene you grow and become a happier person, but quitting 2 things at once is going to be really tough. You will be great for her, and she "will" thank you in the morning. Be careful though because if she knows that you are going to discourage her then she'll probably not tell you next time. All you can do it be there for her. If this is her time to quit, she will. Just be positive. Make plans for the 2 of you to hang out in sober situations. That could be tricky, you can drink just about anywhere. I have the next 3 days off, going fishing fri, painting ( side job) w/ my husband on sat and sun. Not how I want to spend my days off, but then neither does he so we'll get through it together. Hay there ya go, Richard, go pick out some paint and redo the kitchen, bedroom, etc..... that would be something to keep her busy:)
Richard~~ I think it’s easier to tackle one addiction at a time. Here’s what I recommend for your friend:
1. Quit drinking alcohol. (This, in itself, is a major undertaking, is it not?) 2. After ninety days of sobriety, quit smoking cigarettes and start using nicotine gum or a patch. 3. After six months on the alternate form of nicotine intake, stop using nicotine all together. It might be best to wean off of it gradually by reducing the strength of the nicotine intake.
Certainly not everyone would agree with this approach. Here is information from some research in Canada:
“New research indicates that nicotine causes the brain to crave alcohol. Led by Toronto’s Dr. Dzung Anh Le, a study on rats by Canadian and U.S. scientists has found that nicotine use increases alcohol consumption, and the two addictions may work hand in hand. With this in mind, trying to quit both habits at once, painful as it may be in the short-term, may well be a better long-term strategy.”
From a lot of personal experience, I disagree with quitting both addictions at once. In looking back over my past “attempts” to quit alcohol, almost every time I started back was after I tried to quit nicotine as well. I would get sixty days into quitting alcohol, then decide to take on the nicotine monster. After a short period of time, no more than thirty days, I would start back on BOTH. Having learned from that, this time I’m going to wait a “long time” before trying to quit nicotine.
One of the few positive things I’ve accomplished is getting off cigarettes twenty-five years ago. But I’m still using nicotine in the form of snuff pouches, Skoal Bandits. (It’s inconvenient for romance – lots of teeth brushing and mouth washing, first.) Nevertheless, I think that is probably the reason I’m still alive today. In my opinion, cigarettes are stone-cold killers.
I’ll be seventy years old tomorrow. (I told you I have a lot experience.)
Hi, Day 83. First off, Happy Birthday Roger!!! Will this be your first birthday sober? Enjoy and Congratulations! ~Thank-you Bell and Roger. I really appreciate both of your comments-very helpful. I guess their is a part of me that has a hard time being with someone who uses alcohol/cigarettes for stress relief(or whatever). To be honest, the smell really turns me off, I also feel somewhat cheated when talking to someone who is under the influence. It's not that I am coming from a place of arrogance as much as I really feel cheated by a quality exchange of the moment.... Things are sad that don't mean anything-empty words..... Another thought, I know folks who get stoned yet are proud of their "sobriety" (no alcohol) Is this somewhat of an illusion-replacing one for the other? All the best, Richard
Richard~~ I know what you mean about the smell of cigarettes turning you off. For your personal benefit, maybe you should get your friend to tackle nicotine first. There are nicotine patches and/or gum available without prescription. Also, doctors can prescribe medication to help a person quit nicotine. I’ve seen advertisements about Chantix. I think it might be a good move to get her to talk to a doctor. If she could get on quit-nicotine medication, then later you might suggest that you both attend some AA meetings. This would be primarily for her benefit, because I don’t think you need AA, but it shouldn’t be harmful to you to attend some meetings with her.
Hi, Day 84. Thanks for the advice Roger~ Good stuff! Went to a Party tonight-stayed for 3 hours. For the most part it went very well. I do have a hard time hearing/focusing on one conversation when their are a lot (30+) people talking at once. It seems like my hearing/brain is very sensitive to more than a few sounds at once. Hard for me to filter out surrounding noises..Tends to throw me a bit into "overdrive" Hope everyone is having a great weekend!!! All the best, Richard
I’ve discovered something from this 30-minute relaxation exercise I’ve been doing. In addition to relaxing my body, it relaxes my mind as well. I’m using relaxation music, (instrumentals only), but I think it works also without music. For most of us, every waking moment our brains are absorbing SOMETHING – newspapers, magazines, TV, conversations, books, songs, etc. It helps a bunch to give our brain a rest!
Backing in my working days, one day I was ready to leave for work about thirty minutes early. Instead of leaving, I sat on a couch, stared at a blank wall, and did NOTHING for thirty minutes. That entire evening at work, I was very relaxed. I kind of think that’s what meditation is all about – giving the brain a rest.
Happy Birthday Roger. 70 yrs. a great milestone and you are proof that it's never to late to quit a bad habit. I am not saying that you are old :) but you get my drift. I'll be 40 in Jan.
Been busy painting this weekend. I'll have tome to sit and read your post on monday.
Based on a fairly inactive lifestyle in retirement, I need only about 1800 calories per day to stay at the same weight. But, I would like to lose a few pounds around the belly. So, I put myself on a calorie budget. I allow myself 12,000 calories per week. This works out to be about 1714 calories per day. In order to splurge a bit for a couple of days, I allocate the calories as follows:
Mon 1600 Tue 1600 Wed 2000 Thu 1600 Fri 1600 Sat 2000 Sun 1600
Counting calories is a pain, but it’s the only thing that works for me to control my weight.
Hi, Day 85. Roger~ Do you have a recorded visualization you use? Sounds like a good idea before going to sleep-really slow the mind down. All the best! Richard
Richard~ Slowing the mind down is a side benefit of the relaxation exercise, the main purpose of which is to completely relax the body. According to the psychiatrist who wrote the book, Release from Nervous Tension, the secret to “fixing” all kinds of emotional conflicts, etc., is Self-Directed Relaxation. It works! About an hour before my wife comes home from work at 4:30 a.m., I do the relaxation bit for 30 minutes. When she unloads on me with all of the stress and problems of her job, I can handle it with ease, whereas I used to get all uptight about it.
Here’s a psychological trick I learned in the book, Release from Nervous Tension. Before you go to sleep at night, tell yourself, “I’ll never take another drink of alcohol.” Apparently, programming your mind before you go to sleep has a powerful effect, almost like hypnosis. Here are a few other things you could say. “I’ll be completely relaxed while I sleep.” “Tomorrow, I’ll be pleasant to everyone I meet.” Etc…
roger and Richard~ I am so glad that you two are able to use this blog. I wish that I had the time to sit and write. It's after 11pm and I have to get up in 6hrs and do it all over again. You guys are doing great. I am going to bed and visualize a nice dream in head and hopefully get some sleep. I do believe in the sleep and mind thing. I used to record my voice while reading notes from school, when I had a test the next day. I would fall asleep to it and it would play over and over again. I always did great on the test. GO FIGURE.
Hi, Day 86. Thanks Roger and Bell. No doubt our minds are a BIG part of this whole thing. Change our thoughts and change our lives! The outside world won't change but we can change the way we look at it~ I agree with both of you that suggestions before going to sleep are very powerful and have found that by 1) quitting drinking 2)Using affirmations (Mind Power-John kehoe) 3) Diet change-"The warrior diet" 4) Joining a gym and doing cardio(bike) and Yoga along with taking certain supplements 5) having a support group! I have become a new person. I have lost 40 pounds and no longer have anxiety/panic attacks- It is really amazing.....The first big and key step was and is sobriety. It offers one consistency and sanity. All the best and Thank-you for this wonderful group!!!! Richard
Richard~ Losing 40 pounds and no more anxiety/panic attacks! That’s what I call progress! I’m happy for you. By staying on the path you’re on, I predict you’ll experience other improvements in your life.
Michelle~ You mentioned that you’ll turn 40 in January. I remember when I turned 40, I thought I was getting old, but now realize that it was only my youth coming to an end. I relate better to your age group than to my own. My older children are in their forties, and my wife will be 49 in January.
Here is the first paragraph of the Introduction of my memoir, which I am in the process of wrapping up. Early indications are that it’s unlikely I’ll get it published, but it gave me something to do for a couple of years:
INTRODUCTION
“I guess you could say that I’m an old fart, although honestly I don’t feel old. This month I turned 70, and I feel great. I hit the gym every other day, and exercise at home on the alternate days. My third wife is 21 years younger than I am, so maybe that’s what keeps me thinking young. Living in an exciting city probably helps as well. I got married the first time when I was 20; a son was born when I was 21; a daughter was born when I was 26; I got divorced when I was 37; when I was 40, I remarried to a woman who was 21; a son was born when I was 46; I got divorced when I was 57; I remarried when I was 63. I’m seven years into my third marriage, and it is working out great. “
Hi, Day 87. Wow Roger, you have had quite a ride. One of my all time favorite writers is Joseph Campbell. He says " I don't think we are searching for the meaning of life, I think we are looking for an experience." Clearly you have done and are living that~ Really great that you are working out as much as you are! In the past I have had a hard time with comparing myself with others thinking " "Joe" had done this and this by the time he was say age 35-I am behind!" I am now 42 and remember changing the way I looked at things around 40. Come to think of it, I really started to focus in on what was working, what was not and what changes I wanted to make. On another level I realize that we are exactly where we are supposed to be in life, and that each of us has are own unique life to live and story to tell. I am just grateful I was able to quit drinking and really feel alive! All the best, Richard
Richard~ I've read only one of Joseph Campbell's books -The Power of Myth - co-authored by Bill Moyers. From the book, I remember the expression, "follow your bliss", which I interpreted, as I recall, to do what makes you happiest. I've done that, probably more than I should have, which is why I ended up in Las Vegas sixteen years ago.
I'm getting tired of reading Quit-Drinking books, although I just ordered another one, The Easy Way to Stop Drinking, by Allen Carr. I also have in my cart, but haven't ordered yet, Mind Power, that you've mentioned.
Here are three of my all-time favorite books: Aztec by Gary Jennings, The Journeyer by Gary Jennings, and Shogun by James Clavell.
I'm on my weekend. My wife works four ten-hour shifts, Friday to Monday, and has Tue-Wed-Thu off. Tomorrow is errand day, plus our day to eat out. In the past, Tuesday was always private-party-get-drunk day, and Wednesday was hangover day. I'm finished with that, and now have more time to enjoy life.
Michelle~ Hello. I hope you are not working too hard.
Hi, Day 88. Roger, FYI the book is called "Mind Power into the 21st Century" by John Kehoe. I checked Amazon and found one other book called Mind Power...... Another good day here. I did start drinking tap water(chlorinated) the last couple of days (trying to save $$ on bottled water) and have noticed that I feel somewhat more irritable (not as relaxed)...Any thoughts on drinking chlorinated tap water? All the best, Richard
Richard~ I suppose it’s possible that experiencing irritability could be from the water, but, frankly, I doubt it. I don’t drink tap water, and I experienced the same thing two or three weeks back. It went away after I did a couple of 30-minute relaxation sessions – lying on my back, listening to relaxation music, and telling my body to relax. I am resistant to giving up 30 minutes of my life for relaxation sessions - kinda feel like I’m wasting time - but after doing a session I find that the benefits are amazing.
Here is what Dr. Ludwig in the book, Understanding the Alcoholic’s Mind, said about withdrawal:
“Individuals can remain irritable, restless, and depressed as an expression of abstinence from alcohol for up to four to six months, and have trouble sleeping and difficulties in thinking for up to a year.”
New subj: I checked my Amazon cart, and I had selected the correct Mind Power. Thanks.
Richard~ I’m feeling great, too. Clean and sober is the way to go. It helps to have a clear mind and a healthy body to deal with the challenges we encounter in daily living.
I think skipping the college football game was a good move. You could have gotten through it by “faking it”, and acting similar to the way you would if you were drinking. I’ve done that in the past when I wasn’t drinking – party up with everyone else, and rarely did anyone even notice that I wasn’t drinking. However, this time I’m going to get about a year of sobriety under my belt before taking on a festive event. By then, I’ll have be very confident in knowing that I don’t have to guzzle booze to enjoy myself with my rowdy friends, and they’ll know and accept, (and probably be a little envious), of my success in breaking free of alcohol.
Hi, Day 91. I treated myself to a good meal with a generous desert. Strawberry short cake with whip cream..... Had a hard time sleeping though. I think my body is very sensitive to sugar. I notice mood changes when I consume chemicals and sugar. Have to be more mindful of the diet.... I think you are write Roger about building up more time. I would like to think that their is a certain amount of time that really qualifies you as a "non-drinker". I have in the past shared my attempts to quit with acquaintances who would say things like "3 months, I thought you had quit for 3 years...." implying that 3 months is really nothing. I would then say what the hell and go to the nearest bar...This time around, I am keeping my status a bit less public. This avoids having to answer why I am not drinking. Best, Richard
Here is an excerpt from the book, When AA Doesn’t Work For You - Rational Steps to Quitting Alcohol:
“An important factor in relapse is that problem drinkers, like many people, tend to forget the negative aspects of their past bouts with alcohol faster than they forget the positive aspects. This tendency helps them talk themselves into relapse. They focus on the positive, magnify it (“euphoric recall”), make it up in their heads that they should be able to drink without problems “this time”, and tend to forget the negative. It is a bother and a hassle to remember the negative aspects of reality. Who wouldn’t like to escape and avoid such memories? Even if your search for “the happy hour” has ended in unhappiness, depression, and many other problems, your thoughts may still easily center first on alcohol’s euphoric and stress-relieving effects and ignore its long-term crummy effects. But it is just such memories that you had better keep alive in your mind to help you avoid bigger bothers and hassles in the future.”
The author(s) go on to say that you should create a shitlist, a long list of all the disadvantages of your drinking problem, and add to it over the days and weeks to make sure that you don’t omit any of the important ones.
sorry guys, I have been painting with my husband (away from home) and then last night my sister in law broke her leg. She fell shoveling snow. YES SNOW already. I spent the night and all day sunday with her. He husband was out of town. I'll read and then write on monday :)
Hi, Day 92. Roger, thank-you for sharing. I particularly like the "shit list" idea. Easy to forget why you quit in the first place, especially when you are feeling great...."What the hell, I'm doing well, no harm in having a little fun..." I spoke with my brother last night who reminded me that we are meeting at a local bar the night before thanksgiving. I let him know that I quit drinking-but would still join him. Any thoughts on what to drink (or at least order) besides water? i.e Red Bull etc... Hi Bell, Sorry to hear about your sister in Law- Ouch! Snow already..... All the best. Richard
Club soda with a twist of lime is a good choice. Or, Perrier and lime.
Before meeting with your brother, you should give yourself a talk. Say, “I quit drinking. I didn’t half-assed quit. I QUIT! There’s no way I’m going to mess up what I’ve achieved thus far. I am DETERMINED to get through these holidays clean and sober.”
Think ahead to Thanksgiving in 2009. You will be able to say to your brother, “I TOLD you I quit. I haven’t had any alcohol for fifteen months now. I’m feeling great, and I’m not going to drink again.”
I think there’s an art to being in a bar and not drinking alcohol. First, you don’t want to be withdrawn, or have a holier-than-thou attitude toward the drinkers. You should join right in, as if you were drinking, have fun, buy a round when it’s your turn. Second, be patient and tolerant while you watch the people get inebriated. Remember, you’ve been there and done that.
Michelle~
I’m glad you’re back. I know about those Michigan winters. My first wife was from the Cadillac area. I lived in Lansing for three years, and one year in Grand Rapids. Now, I live in Las Vegas where, for the past sixteen years, I’ve seen only a few flakes of snow that melts almost as soon as it hits the ground. I saw a documentary, though, that showed that Las Vegas got nine inches of snow back in the sixties or seventies. Based on what I’ve seen so far, it’s hard for me to believe.
Hi, Day 93. Thanks for the tips Roger. Club Soda/ Lime sounds good. I know what you mean about the art of hanging in a bar without drinking. Not acting/feeling withdrawn-inhibited or better than others because you are sober. My goal is to be able to really enjoy hanging out in a bar sober! Go for conversation-LISTEN to other peoples perspectives verses my own beer induced babble....I do sometimes forget that folks around me are drinking and are sometimes reacting the way they do because of the drink....Also, not everyone in a bar/club is drinking or drunk. How would you recommend I react to someone asking to buy me a drink? I have noticed that some people can be put off if you don't except their offer. (The folks I will be around in the bar in my hometown are old school, salt of the earth types....mill workers etc...) Really glad to have some time sober under my belt going into the holidays, helps confidence level a lot! All the best, Richard
Turning down someone’s offer to buy you a drink is a tough one. I would definitely lie, such as:
“No, thanks, I’m on the wagon. Doc told me if I don’t stop boozin’, I’m gonna need a liver transplant. I’ve been following his advice for, oh, three months or so, feeling good. How have you been?”
or
“Sure, but I’m just drinkin’ soda. I’ve got some stomach problems – laying off the booze for awhile. Damn, it’s good to see you! How have you been?”
You can probably think of some other responses based on knowing the people.
Here are a few excerpts from the book, A Drinking Life, by Pete Hamill:
“Finally I tested myself at the Lion’s Head, standing at the bar with the regulars. I didn’t want to come among them with the zeal of a new convert. They knew I was off the sauce and smiled in a knowing way when I ordered a ginger ale. The smiles were understandable; a lot of people we knew had quit drinking before, and some of them were right there at the bar, belting down whiskey.”
“It was the drunks who were the problem. I started hearing stories I’d heard many times before, or relatively new ones repeated four times in an evening. I was polite. I listened. I laughed at the punch lines. But I didn’t drink.”
“The temptation to begin anew grew weaker and then, before the year was finished, disappeared. Somehow, I’d replaced the habit of drinking with the habit of nondrinking. I still visited bars, listened to the stories, remembered the few memorable remarks, but even the bartenders now began to pour a soda when I walked in.”
“One January afternoon, after five sober years, …”
Hi guys. Roger~~ I am on the St. Clair river. St. Clair County. Do you recall that?? That's where I do my fishing. Canada is just accross the way.
My husband and I will still visit the same bars that we to frequent when we both drank,. only now we sit at the table section of the bar and order food, w/ a piture of Iced tea. When we do go to actual bar, we are not up there very long. We might see an old friend and go say hello, but like you said, the stories are the same ones that you heard before. Its pretty annoying. My husbands avoids the whole thing as best he can. He will even pretend not to see someone, just so that he doesn't have to listen. :)
Day 94. Thanks Roger- I think the "I'm on the wagon" or "I'm driving" should be fine. I really don't feel like explaining why I am doing what I am doing (choosing not to drink). What I don't want to do is stop or even cut down on socializing with folks. Hi Michelle, the iced tea sounds good! Thanks~ All the best, Richard
hi guy, thats me and my fish. Hope everyone is doing well today. Its another weekend already. going bowling tonight w/ me daughter. Do either of you have any input on the Coast Guard. My son is considering joining after he graduates. He is very mechanically inclined. An old school friend of my husband retired at the age of 42 from the coast guard is going to take my son out for day to bases and give him the pros and cons. Kind of exciting for him. He wasn't looking forward to graduating w/ the economy the way that it is. Even though he will be a state certified Auto Mech. when he graduated. The jobs in the auto industry, yikes. But this idea gives him alot of hope to his future :)
Michelle~ I think the Coast Guard would be an excellent career for your son. I was in the Navy for eight years – wished I had stayed for 20. My youngest son, age 23, joined the Army in January; he just finished Airborne school. Even though he is in a dangerous branch in a dangerous job, I hope he makes a career out of it. I think the Coast Guard is a good choice because I see it as safer than, say, the Army or Marines.
You can learn all about the Coast Guard by visiting the website www.uscg.mil.
Hi, Day 97. Not that familiar with the armed services. Retiring at 42 sure does sound good though! Did a recording session tonight. Saw an old friend of mine-thought about going down "memory lane" for about 5 seconds-luckily came to my senses! All the best, Richard
Hi, Day 98. Had some "family drama" to deal with. I know that part of life is dealing with problems. Learning to handle them gracefully-focus on the solution rather than the problem.....Realizing that even though I am sober, every day may still not be ideal- I am pleased that I did not think about drinking when confronted with this! Will hit the gym for a good long bike ride/work out. Wondering if the drama tends to increase during the holiday season. All the best, Richard
Michelle~ I had a hard time locating the St. Clair River on the Michigan map. I was looking at the small blue lines showing rivers, couldn’t find the St. Clair, and finally discovered that it is a very large river that separates Michigan from Ontario. Wow! So, I googled St. Clair River, and found a good article in Wikipedia. Here is what the article shows for HISTORY:
In the 1700s, French voyageurs travelled on the river in canoes loaded with furs destined to adorn Europe's royalty. Ships built at Marine City, Michigan during the mid-1800s carried immigrants up the river on their way to new homes in the American West. During the 20th century, freighters returned from the upper Great Lakes with iron ore, copper, grain - products of some of these settlers' labor.
I haven’t been to that part of Michigan except once when I drove to Port Huron to cross Ontario on the way to New York. The area in which you live is opposite to the one in which I live, in that your area has lots of water, and mine is a desert.
I have a lot of pleasant memories from my time in Michigan. One of the more memorable ones was a two-day canoe trip with my son, floating down the Manistee River, starting about thirty miles upriver from the little town of Mesick, NW of Cadillac.
Richard~ Congratulations on 1) not “going down memory lane” with your friend, and 2) coping with the “family drama”. That’s all part of the challenge of dealing with life without self-medicating with alcohol. The important thing is, you did it, and you will be stronger as a result. We are going to make it through these holidays, and be among the few people who wake up on the first day of 2009 with a clear head, and ready to face the New Year with hope and optimism.
A good day for me, too. I'm reading The Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Allen Carr. It is an excellent book for anyone who drinks, (he says 90% of the population), regardless of whether they have a "problem" (yet).
Not that I think I have this drinking thing whipped, but I am getting ready to take on nicotine again. I've read conflicting reports on whether it is wise to quit nicotine while you are early into quitting alcohol. Some say that you should wait at least a year, while others say that quitting nicotine actually makes it easier to quit drinking.
I do know that I would like to be completely drug free, permanently, and I sincerely believe that I am going to reach that goal soon.
Hi, Day 100. Roger,please keep us updated on how your nicotine program goes-Being sober these past 100 days is allowing me to look at life in a different light. Sort of doing a what works/doesn't work exercise. Letting go of the old parts of me that don't work and are out of balance. Living a life of sobriety, exercise, Yoga, a good diet, supplements, affirmations and prayer seems to work! All the best, Richard
Richard~ Not only have you made it to day 100, it sounds like you are on the right track for long-term success. I'm happy for you. Your success is an inspiration for me. Well, that's what a support group is all about. Blogging has helped me a bunch.
I haven't set a firm date for when I'll quit nicotine. I'm thinking Feb. 4th. I'll have three weeks of alone time then, since my wife will be going to visit her mom in Colombia for three weeks. I'm doing a lot of preparation for quitting nicotine because of a past failure of quitting nicotine on day 67 of not drinking, making it to day 98, and then starting back on nicotine AND alcohol. Why did that happen? I don't know. I was doing great, but I think the problem was that I forgot why I quit alcohol in the first place. That isn't going to happen this time.
Hi, Day 101. Right back at you Roger~ You and michelle along with the folks at "We Quit Drinking" have been VERY helpful in getting me this far! I am Really appreciative/grateful. Roger, found this online: http://quitsmoking.about.com/cs/yourfirstweek/a/tipsfirstweek.htm I know you are not dealing with cigarettes but I would imagine many of the principals are the same. Leaving town tonight-not sure if I will be able to log on for a few days. Wishing everyone a very happy Thanksgiving! All the best, Richard
Hi guys, don't have time to read, but your both still here so you are doing great. I did catch 100days. Congratulations!!!!!! I remember that day well. I will read and then catch up on fri. Hope you both have a great-sober holiday :)
On Thanksgiving day, my wife and I had an unusual, but small confrontation. I was grouchy from waking up from a nap just before the meal. Then she rushed me to help her do something. I lost my cool, yelled at her. She was deeply offended for the rest of the day and night. Later, we talked. She complained that my personality has changed since I quit drinking, and said, in a roundabout way, that we don’t have any fun anymore – since I don’t get drunk and party the way I used to do. I informed her that she is going to have to get used to the new me, and that I’m not going to drink anymore. But I did vow to try to “do better”. We patched things up. She suggested that I consider taking Bach’s Herbal Essence, Rescue, but not the version that has alcohol in it. I told her that I would look into it. Tonight, when she went to work, I went out and bought flowers for her, so she will be happy when she comes home in the a.m.
Doing well. Hanging in there. No problems, especially since I gave my wife the flowers. Lots of resolve to give up drinking permanently. Michelle and Richard, I hope things are going well for you.
In my quest to quit drinking I have read many books, looking for ideas that will help. The latest book I read is The Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes, M.D. He is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. He says that breaking addictions is more psychological than physical, and points out as evidence that returning Viet Nam vets were able to break their heroin addictions. As an analyst, he believes that it is important to uncover the “reason” a person begins and continues to use addictive substances. Of course, he thinks that psychotherapy is the way to go, (since that’s how he makes his living). And he tells about lots of case studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of psychotherapy.
I thought, “What the hell? I can be my own analyst, without paying a shrink $100 per hour for months and months. What do they do? They drag details of your life out of your subconscious and by doing so, the reason often becomes apparent, to him/her and to you.”
So, I created a password-protected Word file, and began pouring my heart out to my “analyst”. Since I don’t hold anything back – pour out all the sordid details – and don’t want ANYONE to ever see the file, I use a really strong password, 33 characters in length. Supposedly, not even Microsoft can get into a file without the password, at least that’s what they say. So, I’m comfortable that my file will remain MY secret.
Since I’m not writing for publication, grammar and format aren’t important. I created a chapter, outline, sort of, for distinct segments of my life. I began at the beginning, and wrote (without capitalization or punctuation) short phrases, separated by a semi-colons, (few, if any paragraphs), describing EVERYTHING I could think of about that period of my life. I also included any observations or opinions, as a result of “looking back” decades later.
Before I got even one-third of the way through, I began seeing things that had not been apparent to me before. I thought, “My God, I’ve been carrying all this crap in my head (or subconscious) all these years?” I’m still working my way through my life up to this point, but already my resolve to quit drinking permanently is strengthening. I can see what a devastating effect alcohol has had on my life.
Hi! Day 106- Just got back from Thanksgiving. Really went well. In fact it was easily my best visit ever(hometown). I have found that by changing within my outer world is changing. I feel that I am a much better listener(as opposed to drinking where I make the conversation about myself...Always trying to be right-get the last word....controlling) Roger, In dealing with stress/anger I have tried many, many different solutions. Some of the more significant influences have been 1) "Mind Power"(John Kehoe) 2) "A New Earth" Echart Tolle 3) Cardio(bike) 4) Yoga 5) "The Warrior Diet"(Ori Hofmekler) 6)A Stress relief supplement http://www.naturesherbs.biz/product/1863-5 and http://www.naturesherbs.biz/product/1035-7 Their are so many different products/practices(supplements/Reiki/meditation/massage etc....) We have to find out which ones work for us. Hi, Michelle! Hope everyone had a Great Holiday! All the best~ Richard
Richard, I’m definitely going to read Mind Power. It’s on my list. I’m working my way through a couple of other books first. I read The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr, twice. I’m disappointed in it, in that I didn’t learn anything new; can’t say that I recommend it. Tomorrow, I will receive from Netflix the first DVD of a four-disc series called Addiction.
For the flu, some raw garlic might help. When I get a cold or the flu, I put a couple of cloves in a smoothie, and add some sweetener such as Stevia to offset the taste.
Hi, Day 108. Roger, Thanks for the tips on the garlic w/smoothie. I have not used "Stevia"-thinking of trying it in baking pies etc.. for upcoming holiday as I have negative reactions to regular white sugar. Went to the gym tonight to sweat out any remaining "bug" -really starting to feel better. All the best, Richard
Richard~ I’m such a big fan of stevia that I should be marketing it. I’ve been using it for years. It has no calories, is about 300 times sweeter than sugar, and has zero effect on my digestive system – unlike sugar, saccharin, or aspartame. The only reason it isn’t widely used and available in the U.S., as it has been in Japan since the 1970’s, is purely political. The FDA hasn’t officially blessed it because to do so would have a serious economical impact on manufacturers of other sweeteners.
I order mine from www.fubaohealth.com. They sell Stevita spoonable stevia in a 16 oz container for $14.80. I buy seven containers at a time in order to avoid shipping costs. This amount lasts me about fifteen months. I used ¼ teaspoon in coffee/tea, ½ teaspoon in oatmeal and other cereal, and 2 teaspoons in a smoothie when I add a couple of cloves of garlic.
The last couple of days I've limited my added sugar intake to 30 grams per day. That does not include the natural sugar in fruit/veggies. I'm doing this to lower my insulin level, hoping that it will help with weight control. Apparently, insulin causes the body to store fat. Anyway, an amazing side benefit is that I'm sleeping much more soundly.
I took my wife to see the movie Australia this evening. Not bad; so-so for me; my wife liked it. Some of her relatives have moved to Gold Coast, Queensland, just south of Brisbane. They really like it; great weather, beaches, etc. I watched a couple of youtube videos on Gold Coast; looks like an exciting place.
Hi, Day 110. Been to a lot of places on the planet-never made it to "Down Under" I here it is beautiful. Thanks for the info on Stevia Roger. I think I will add it to the New Years plan/program. The gal that I live with told me she is starting to take Chantix a week from tomorrow. Really happy about that! Cigarette smoke/smell simply turns me off...Looking forward to hitting the gym tomorrow~ All the best, Richard
Hanging in there. No challenges. Just wrapping up a three-day weekend. The only activity was seeing a movie and going out to eat once. Truthfully, the weekend was a little boring. I'm going to have to find something to generate a little excitement in our lives. Well, two weekends from now is our anniversary, a day on which we celebrate everything - Christmas, anniversary, and both of our birthdays that are within a month or so of that date. We booked two days in a casino-hotel far away from the hustle-bustle of the Las Vegas Strip. We'll just relax, see some movies in the theater complex on-site, and visit the spa/jacuzzi.
Richard, please keep me updated on your friend's experience with Chantix. My quit day for nicotine is still Feb. 4th.
Hi, Day 111. Roger, will keep you posted on the Chantix. Another sober day. Went to the gym, worked out and took a Yoga Class-feeling good! All the best, Richard
I rented from Netflix the HBO series on Addiction, and I'm learning some good stuff. The series features several M.D.'s and PhD's who say that addiction is a brain disease caused by the brain being physically modified by the drugs, which includes nicotine and alcohol. An interesting point, according to the series: the first ninety days are not the hardest! That goes, the best I could deduce, to the second ninety days, after the "newness" of sobriety has worn off. A really positive thing I'm getting from it: if you make it to the one-year mark, the chances for long-term success increases tremendously. Therefore, I have emblazoned into my mind, Day #365, as the goal I'm working towards.
I liked the HBO series on Addiction enough that I ordered the DVD from Amazon today. Trying to prepare to quit nicotine 50 days from now. I hope everyone is doing well, and having a good weekend.
Winter has arrived in Las Vegas. The temp is down to 40 degrees tonight.
The following is a synopsis of what I learned (sort of) from the HBO series, Addiction, and from the website www.drugabuse.gov.
In a human being that is not addicted to drugs, the brain produces, for various reasons, a feel-good “thing” called dopamine. The reasons might be for things such as good food, sex, music, etc.
Addictive substances such as nicotine, alcohol, heroin, and cocaine cause a rush of dopamine in the brain, resulting in a good feeling.
When an addictive substance is used for a long period, the brain stops, or reduces the amount of dopamine it produces – because it is getting dopamine from the addictive substance. Thus, the brain is modified, or, arguably, “diseased”.
Between “hits”, or when the addictive substance is not used, a person becomes uncomfortable because the brain is not producing dopamine, and is not receiving it from the addictive substance. This is withdrawal. Cigarette smokers, for example, experience withdrawal between “hits”, or smokes.
According to Dr. Nora Volkow, the Director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, when a person stops using an addictive substance the brain can, to a large degree, repair itself and again produce its own dopamine. However, this takes a relatively long time, about TEN MONTHS.
Drug users are under the illusion that the drug gives them pleasure, when in reality it is simply “fixing” the problem that it caused.
The website, www.drugabuse.gov has some good info, including three or four free downloadable PDF files.
For your girlfriend, there is a lot of good info on www.smokefree.gov. Also, the book The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr, is very good, better than his book on quitting drinking.
Hi, Day 114. Thank-you Roger. Really Interesting... Ten months for the brain to repair itself!...... Thanks for the tips on quitting smoking as well~ All the best, Richard
hay guys, sorry I have been out of touch. You are using this blog just as I intended. Thankyou all is well here. My husbands 1 yr was on dec 2nd. YEA!!
Congratulations to your husband for one year of sobriety! From where I stand here at day 84, that looks like quite an achievement. I’m happy for both of you for changing your lifestyle, and setting a good example for your children. It inspires me, too! Stay on this path, and have a happy, healthy, and productive life.
Hi, Day 115. Hi Bell! Congratulations to your husband (and you!) One year is truly an achievement-certainly a goal to shoot for on this end! Thanks for the inspiration~ All the best, Richard
Hi, Day 117. Another good day~ Listened to Susan Powter's book a ways back. (Audio book) She talked about a supplement program, but didn't actually mention it on the audio. All the best, Richard
I took the big plunge today; stopped using smokeless tobacco; started using Nicoderm CQ step-1 patch. This is the most powerful patch at 21 mg of nicotine delivered over 24 hours, but apparently, it isn’t nearly as strong as the smokeless tobacco I was using. I had a rough day, and felt almost the same as in the past when I “quit” cold turkey. I’m hoping it will get better. Regardless, I’m finished with the smokeless tobacco, even if I have to use nicotine replacement therapy indefinitely. I know I will be using it for “quite some time”. I destroyed about $40 worth of smokeless tobacco, in a similar ritual that I did with alcohol. I took photographs of various steps of the process, for “memories”.
The reason I decided to go with the patch is something I learned watching the Addiction videos. They said that heroin addicts who quit cold turkey without “replacement therapy, such as methadone”, have a relapse rate of 90%, and that those who use replacement therapy are more successful. I thought, “Well, I think that same thing might apply to nicotine.” I have read that nicotine and heroin are about equal in difficulty to conquer. Is that true? I have no idea. For almost everything, you can find opposite opinions by “experts”.
I decided to go with the more expensive Nicoderm CQ rather than the less expensive Equate Step-1 because I have the “feeling” that the original is usually better than the “copy”.
Well, thanks for listening to me ramble, and have a wonderful evening.
Hi, Day 118. Roger, Congratulations on your decision to quit smokeless tobacco! Bravo!~ I agree with you on the experts.....Pretty much anything out there i.e quitting methods, diets, etc.... has an opposite opinion. In the end we have to do what works for each of us. We hosted a party tonight. I am happy to say that I didn't think about drinking even once! All the best, Richard
Richard, congrats on hosting a party and not thinking of drinking. Chalk this up as a small victory. As these accumulate, you will be more and more confident, and, unwittingly, be setting an example for others who see that it is possible to socialize and enjoy yourself without getting hammered.
You are fortunate that you don’t have to contend with the nicotine demons. From what I have read, there is a strong link between tobacco and alcohol. Some say that it is very difficult to quit drinking if you don’t quit using tobacco. I’m working on it. My plan is to use the Step-1 patch (21 mg) for four weeks, the Step-2 patch (14 mg) for four weeks, and then, on Feb 4th, when my wife goes to visit her mom, stop using all nicotine.
Hi, Day 120. Had a real test last night. An old friend called me and told me he was on his way to town and really needed to talk to me. I picked him up at the train station. He was drunk. I got him back to my place, let him stay over. He then woke up this morning and preceded to start drinking again. I finally had to nicely ask him to leave by 5:00 in the afternoon. He asked me several times to come with him to drink...He even pleaded-I held my ground. Needless to say, he won't be staying with me again until he gets himself together. Really sad/hard to see someone you care about so screwed up...Wish I knew what to do to help him~ Roger, again Congratulations on your quitting tobacco. Please keep me in the loop. My girlfriend just started taking Chantix yesterday, will keep you posted... All the best, Richard
Richard~ I hope you don’t have to deal with something like that again. That was a tough test! I think you were able to deal with it because you have four months of not drinking under your belt, and you’ve been active in maintaining your sobriety with yoga, exercising, blogging, etc. Also, you’ve been able to see positive results with weight loss, less anxiety, and so on. Hang in there! When you deal with something like that successfully, it makes you stronger.
I haven’t had any temptations to drink again, but this endeavor to get off nicotine is tough! I’m on day 4 of the patch, and it feels the same as going cold turkey. I don’t know if the patch is ineffective, or, maybe the nicotine in the smokeless tobacco has been increased since I last tried to kick it, and my body is trying to adjust to the lower amount of nicotine in the patch. Anyway, my resolve is strong to stay on the path I’m on. I’ll be interested to hear about your girlfriend’s experience with Chantix. She might be interested in checking out a website on the “evils of tobacco” at medicolegal.tripod.com/fowler1833.htm. The document was written by a preacher in 1833, and contains numerous links to other sites on not only tobacco, but alcohol as well.
Hi, Day 121. Roger, hang in their. you are now on Day 5! I read online that the homeopathic remedy "Nox Vomica" is helpful with nicotine withdrawal -also found a natural product called "Nicocure". http://medicolic.com/quitting_tobacco_chewing__wbmy.php another site:http://www.smokersstopshop.co.uk/homeopathic.htm I used to chew (off and on) Kodiak for years. It was the natural thing for me:drink and chew. I remember using tea bags(placing bag between lip and gums-mint/wintergreen flavor) to help me finally get off the chew.....So glad I am free of Both!!! All the best, Richard
Thanks for the info, Richard. I'll be re-reading your post later, and doing some follow-on research when I return from my "trip". My wife and I are going to spend two nights at Red Rock Casino (Las Vegas) to celebrate everything - Christmas, anniversary, etc. Back on Thursday.
Back from mini-vacation. Things are going well. This is my third day without the nicotine patch. I was so uncomfortable using the patch that I decided going cold turkey couldn’t be much worse, so that’s what I did. The next three weeks will be rough, but it will get easier. I’m eating like a horse, so here comes the weight. It feels good to be completely drug-free … well, I don’t count caffeine, which I don’t plan to quit. (French Vanilla Lipton Tea is my final addition.)
Hi, Day 124. Welcome back Roger. Congratulations on being patch free. FYI, my Girlfriend is doing well with the Chantix. Almost one week with very little cravings. Also, no real food increases in her diet~ All the best, Richard
All is well. I’m over the worst part of nicotine withdrawal, and look forward to a drug-free future. No real challenges. I read the following resolution daily:
“I am clean and sober, and staying that way. The idea of ever putting another addictive substance into this drug-free body is repulsive to me. It is not going to happen.”
Today was gym day (as is every other day). I'm feeling good, sleeping better, controlling my weight.
Will I always be upbeat? No. Is life boring sometimes? Yes. Do I regret quitting drinking? No. Do I regret quitting nicotine? No. Am I going to do what I've down in the past, say to hell with it, and drink again? No. What's different this time? I don't know. I'm more resolved, better prepared (due to failed attempts in the past), and ... I'm blogging. Yep, going public with the "quit-drinking endeavor" is helping a bunch. Also, I review frequently many of my drinking disasters of the past, and thus am constantly reminded of why I'm on the clean and sober path.
Hi, Day 128. A gym day as well. I'm with you Roger. Blogging really has been a friend. Being able to go back and chart your progress really helps. -Would be nice if we could get a few more folks on here with us as well. Different experiences, viewpoints etc...With that said, I am very grateful for this blog, You and Michelle for helping me make it to 128 days of Sobriety! Leaving town for the holidays in the morning. Won't be online for a couple of days. Wishing you and yours a Very Happy Holiday Season! All the best, Richard
Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is enjoying Christmas while visiting with friends and family. I was proud to tell my young son (in the Army) that I haven't drunk any alcohol for 100 days. He is very close to being drug-free - drinks very little caffeine, and very little beer (as in sips), no nicotine, marijuana, or hard drugs. I'm encouraging him not to drink any alcohol at all.
No problems quitting drinking. Quitting nicotine is hell. Still in withdrawal on day 14; hungry all the time; feel like something is missing. Nevertheless, I'm hanging in there,hoping it will get better in a few weeks.
Hi, Day 135. Just got back to town. Easily the least stressful Holiday season of my adult life. Pleased to say that I made it through christmas sober! I even went out to hometown bars on 2 nights! Tried some N.A. beer (O'douls Amber...) Wasn't bad, nice to change up from water...... Felt quite relaxed in the bars. Only had one drama scene with my brother who was drinking pretty hard.......I am hoping that as I keep living a sober life he will eventually catch on.. Roger, hang in their with the nicotine! All the best, Richard
Richard, I'm glad you made it back, and that you didn't drink during the Christmas holidays.
We have one more holiday to get through this year, and then we will be ready to take on 2009. My wife has to work on New Year's Eve, so I will bring in the New Year watching celebrations on TV.
I think O’Doul’s might be a good beverage for a beer drinker who might be the designated driver and doesn’t want to drink alcohol for the evening. Or, it might a good beverage for someone who wants to give up drinking temporarily, for religious purposes, for example. Or, it might be a good beverage for a drinker who wants to stay sober long enough to score with the opposite sex. Or, it might be a good beverage for a drinker who doesn’t want to screw-up while out with the boss or co-workers.
However, I do not think it is a good beverage for a person who is quitting drinking alcohol permanently. It is too close to the real thing – the look, the feel, the taste. I feel the same way about Virgin Mary’s, Virgin Colada’s, etc. That’s just my opinion, for better or for worse. Since our objective on this blog, I think, is to exchange info to help us all stay sober, this is my “contribution”. I hope you don’t think unkindly of me for sharing this opinion. I promise that I won’t offer any other opinions or suggestions for the remainder of this year.
Hi, Day 136. Thanks Roger, I understand your point. Being in my hometown with my brother and a bunch of beer drinkers around me it seemed like the right move. Not something I will do as a rule~ All the best, Richard
Happy New Year!!! Woo, woo. Doesn’t it feel great to get drunk on your ass to bring in the new year?
Well, no, I’m not drinking.
What! No booze on New Year’s Eve? How could that be? It’s almost un-American not to get drunk on New Year’s Eve, and wake up feeling horrible on New Year’s day.
Well, I’ve been sober for a few months now, and I’m starting to get used to never being hung over. I’ve found out that I can have fun without getting drunk. Happy New Year!!! Woo, woo.
Hi, Day 138. Made it through New Years. Happy New year! Went to the gym today-got a good work out in. Sure is nice to be clear headed and confident. Lovin the clean life! Here's to a Sober 2009! All the best, Richard
Back on Nov. 22 I said, "We are going to make it through these holidays, and be among the few people who wake up on the first day of 2009 with a clear head, and ready to face the New Year with hope and optimism." Now I can say, "Told you so."
Hi, Day 139. That you did Roger! Now we are both going to make it through the whole of 2009 sober! One day at a time..... Went to the gym again today-great work out-great day! All the best, Richard
No problem quitting drinking. I'm very optimistic that I will never drink again. Nicotine is a different story. On day 19, I'm about as miserable as I was on Day 1. And I'm gaining weight. Nevertheless, I am going to continue the battle - for now.
Great gym workout for me as well. The gym is my savior, my friend.
Hi, Day 140. Roger, Congratulations on 19 days! -My girlfriend is having very good results with the Chantix. I mention this as a possible aid for you. I know that no to people react the same, however she had been smoking for most of her adult life (30+ years). She doesn't seem to be having any withdrawal to speak of. So nice to have her smoke-free! All the best, Richard
Richard, thanks for the update on your girlfriend’s experience with Chantix. I know it has made a big improvement in both of your lives. After living in a smoke-free environment for 20+ years, I can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke. I even have a hard time dealing with smelling smoke on my wife’s clothing, and in her hair, when she returns home from work in a casino. I’ve been on a letter-writing campaign to make the casinos smoke-free, for my own selfish reasons. When my daughter visits every couple of years or so, I send her outside to smoke, no matter the weather.
New subject: here is a recipe I “prescribed” for my wife’s cold that she got because of the stress and extra work during the holidays. I have her eat the following soup concoction, three times daily:
Healthy Choice Chicken Soup (either rice or noodle). Add two cloves of raw garlic (cut-up into small pieces), 1 ½ tablespoons of honey, 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, and 1 teaspoon of lime juice, (either fresh or from prepared concentrate.)
About thirty minutes after she had the first soup, she was feeling better, and her fever was subsiding. She will have the second and third servings of soup this evening at work. This is a yearly occurrence. She gets sick after the holidays, and then I fix her up with my concoction. Oh, additionally, I have her take 2000 mg of Ester-C – a 500 mg tablet every six hours.
I have no doubt she will recover within a few days, and be back to normal.
Hi, Day 141. Thanks for sharing the soup recipe Roger! I have a feeling we will be needing it before the winter is done....I have been reading a bit about the importance of keeping our PH levels alkaline (as opposed to acidic) Two big benefits 1) great way to burn off fat and 2) disease/illness can't live in a Alkaline environment. So far I have found two things that really help with a alkaline PH level. 1) Fresh lemon squeezed in water 2) Aloe vera juice in water http://best-weight-loss-program.net/obesity/aloe-vera-uses-weight-loss-uses-of-aloe-vera-revealed/ Hope this helps with the weight loss. All the best, Richard
I have an excellent book on acid-alkaline. It is entitled The Acid-Alkaline Diet for Optimum Health, by Christopher Vasey, N.D. The book was published in French, and later translated to English. The author lives in Switzerland. I was into it for a while - bought PH test strips at a pet food store - etc. I even applied it to my drinking by choosing to drink scotch/spring water with the idea that the alkaline water would help offset the acidic whiskey. Interesting that I was concerned about such a thing while poisoning my body with alcohol.
I like the lemon squeezed in water idea - many health benefits in addition to PH level.
I had a good day today. Instead of going to the gym, I exercised at home and then went for a walk/jog. The weather was so cold that I gave it up, came back home, and jumped on the Urban Rebounding trampoline to round out my aerobics.
Hi, Day 142. Read a lot of good things about Rebounding trampolines. Things are getting steadily better on this end-I know much is due to a sober life! All the best, Richard
Things are going great here. To help relax, I'm drinking chamomile tea two or three times daily, with stevia and the contents of a capsule of Passion Flower. It works! But sometimes it makes me sleepy. I wouldn't want to be operating any machinery after drinking the tea.
I get Solaray Passion Flower at a health store. Each capsule is 350 mg.
Hi, Day 143. The tea sounds good! Might be nice to put together a list of things we know help relax us(as a sub for booze) Chamomile for sure,,, All the best, Richard
Life is good. I have the gas log fireplace going, and my wife is watching a DVD recording of a Spanish channel. Her cat is curled up at her feet. I say her cat, but I suppose you could say that I adopted the cat when we got married - I mean when I married my wife, not the cat. The cat is 25 years old (about 110 in human years), and we (the cat and I) are in a bitterly fought contest to see which one of us lives the longest. When one of us passes away, it will be a philosophical question about which one of us won.
Hi, Day 144. Tough to compete with an animal that gets 9 lives..... Doing good on this end. I noticed today on the subway a advertisement for "Jameson" whiskey.(Actually the entire top end of the subway car was covered with them) Amazing how images of these things are shoved down our throats. I don't notice cigarette adds in public much anymore-be nice if they would stop pushing booze advertising in our faces...... All the best, Richard
It’s amazing how much our economy consists of booze-related businesses and the associated advertising that goes with it. If, at this moment, every business related to booze – the producers, the transporters, the bars and nightclubs, the liquor stores, the addiction counselors, etc. – closed down, it would have a major impact on the economy. Hundreds of thousands of jobs – bartenders and cocktail waitresses, liquor store employees, truck drivers that haul the booze, etc. – would be lost. Then there are the taxes that the government collects, sin taxes I suppose you call them, that would be lost.
The same thing is true for the tobacco industry – the farmers that grow tobacco, the manufacturers of tobacco products, the transportation of the products, the retailers who sell the products, nicotine replacement manufacturers – all have a huge economic stake in tobacco. And, of course, again there are the taxes that the government collects.
I doubt seriously if the government has any interest in getting rid of these businesses, especially after the failure of prohibition back in the 20’s. Consequently, not only do we encounter the products everywhere, but also we are bombarded with advertisements on billboards, newspapers, public transportation, television, etc. And that’s just for the “legal” drugs. Illegal drugs are also a huge business.
So, the responsibility for traversing this minefield of drugs, without succumbing to the pitfalls of drug use, falls on the shoulders of individuals - who need to reject drugs with the same resolution they reject a life of crime and its associated consequences. I think one of the most effective ways to do this is to do what you and I are doing – saying, “I’m not gonna do that anymore. It’s stupid. It messes up my mind and my body, and contributes to a shorter lifespan and debilitating diseases. I’m going to spend the rest of my days on this planet clean and sober.”
Hi, Day 145. Well said Roger~....It's how we choose to deal with it...Focus on other things in life- Made it through another day sober! Off to rest-long day. All the best, Richard
My young son, age 23, is involved in his first serious relationship with a woman. Prior to this, he has had limited experience with women. He "likes her a lot". I am concerned because the woman, age 25, an RN, loves to drink, go clubbing, and partying. I get the impression that she has "a lot of experience". I'm trying to convey to him, as diplomatically as possible, that this is not a good situation for him when he has to deploy overseas for fifteen months. Well, I can't live his life for him, but I'm trying to have him look at this as a "fun relationship" as opposed to a "permanent relationship". I'm also concerned that she will corrupt him, and get him started on the drinking path.
Such are the woes of parents concerned about their children.
Hi, Day 146. I guess all you can do is share with him what your feelings are. The rest is up to him....I was in two relationships where I really wanted to get married (fell head over heals/actually more co-dependent...) Looking back I am SO GLAD they both ended up breaking it off. Took me a while to bounce back after each break up...With a little luck he will meet some other ladies over seas-give him a bit more perspective/experiance. Enjoy his 20's!!!!! Another good day/week! Had a good work out- and Yoga class. Cold as Sh.....here! All the best, Richard
1. Spending 10 minutes on a gravity inversion machine, at about 45 degree down angle. 2. Drinking 1/2 cup of cranberry juice mixed with 1/2 cup of water. 3. Eating 1/2 bagel, bran cereal/soymilk/banana, supplements 4. Later, dance aerobics. I put on cordless headphones, listened to music with a good beat, and danced around the condo for about fifteen minutes. 5. Next up, head to the gym for 30 minutes of aerobics, and about 10 minutes of weight training. 6. Back at home, I will finish the exercises with some pushups, crunches, weights, etc. 7. Then I'll eat like a pig, probably about 400 more calories than I burned off. 8. Spend a relaxing evening watching a couple of movies and SNL, and wait for my wife to come home from work.
Hi, Day 147. Great Job Roger-Sounds like you really have your program down. The work out is key for us to release stress etc.....I look forward to my one big meal each night to! All the best, Richard
Tonight, I will watch the Golden Globes while my wife works. What an exciting life! Well, I'm staying sober and out of trouble, feeling good. Kinda proud of myself. Almost four months. Prospects for long-term success look good.
Hi, Day 149. Another Gym day- got home and had a big piece of cake for dessert......Not so great for the gut, sort of fun to eat some cake though! All the best, Richard
I've been counting calories to control my weight, but that's getting old. For a change, I've changed to counting fiber grams. Instead of trying the keep the number down, I'm trying to get it up, (the number that is). Yesterday, I had 46 fiber grams; today, so far, about 32. For me, anything above 30 is good.
I have this theory that if you eat plenty of fiber, that keeps the colon clean, and helps control the weight. Is this valid? Does it even make any sense? I have no idea. But it IS different from counting calories. Variety! That's what keeps me going.
Hi, Day 150. A good day today. Started with Fresh Carrot, beet, apple juice with 1 clove of Garlic. Tasted Great! Later made it to the gym. Managed to stay clear of the Chocolate cake tonight! Not sure about the fiber Roger-I would imagine it is a good thing. I try to drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces of water each day. Seems to keep things flowing good~ All the best, Richard
Thanks for mentioning drinking water. It serves as a reminder to get back on track and start drinking more water, instead of just soda and tea. I need to re-read Your Body's Many Cries For Water by F. Batmanghelidj, M.D.
Our weekend is filled with obligations - dentist and doctor appointments - but we'll get in some relaxing time. I want to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire.
Went to a dermatologist today. When filling out the form, there was a question that asked "How much alcohol do you consume weekly?" It was great to write: NONE.
Hi, Day 151. Been on a "Juicing" binge lately......This morning Carrot, beet, Garlic-Great! Also had my first session in my life with a trainer at the gym~Went real well. Having Fun with NONE!~ All the best, Richard
Hi, Day 152. Took a day off from the Gym~Looking on line for natural cures for Dyslexia i.e vitamins/supplements, Juicing etc...... Getting ready for the Big Freeze! All the best, Richard
Life is good. Staying upbeat. Complexion has improved a bunch. Next event to look forward to: inauguration day next Tuesday - watching it is something to do.
It's a routine Friday night - watching TV while my wife works. I'm getting addicted to the reality shows - The First 48, TRUTV Most Shocking, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Cold Case, Forensic Files, Intervention, etc. If you ever wonder what retired people do, that's what I do. I spent my whole working life trying to figure out how to get out of work, and then when I finally retired, I've spent my retirement life trying to think of something interesting and affordable to do. If I were doing it over again, I wouldn't retire; I would continue working as long as possible. (Having said that, I've never found enough ambition to get off my ass and look for a job. I keep thinking, "Maybe next year.")
Today is my four-month QD anniversary - September 17, 2008. I’ve decided that the 17th of every month I’ll have a mini-celebration – give myself a treat, such as a favorite meal, a book, CD, DVD, etc. – my reward for good behavior.
Hi, Day 154. Congratulations Roger! Important to give yourself "treats" during special times. Curious, do you have any hobbies? So happy to be sober on my birthday! can't remember the last time I was sober on my birthday-really a great feeling!! Off to read-then Bed~ All the best, Richard
Richard, happy 40th! You’re entering middle age in good shape after “sowing the wild oats of youth”, so to speak. I think youth runs from 0 to 40, middle age runs from 40 to 80, and old age should run from 80 to 120.
Do I have any hobbies? Hmmm. Not really, after I stopped trying to beat sports gambling and horse racing, but you gave me something to think about. Thanks.
Hi, Day 155. Thanks Roger! Had a "quiet" Birthday Weekend-Ate to much!~ Looking forward to getting back to the gym tomorrow and burn it off.... Thinking about fasting once a week(maybe sundays) Perhaps only drink water w/fresh lemon squeezed in it. Give my body a rest from digesting food once a week- All the best, Richard
I buy supplements, particularly All Your Minerals, from www.youngagain.com. The guy who runs it, Roger Mason, says he is a research chemist. He swears by fasting one day a week. I’ve read several of his books, and he always mentions fasting. There’s a lot of good info on the site, even you don’t buy his products.
Slow day today (MLK) - didn't even get to walk to the mailbox to pick up the mail. Things will be more interesting tomorrow with the inauguration - something to watch on TV.
Hi, Day 157. Watched a bit of the inauguration. I was in Downtown NYC today- (Times Square) A Lot of Folks were partying-sort of like new years...Had a thought (1 second) to go to a bar and "hang" Join in with the "movement" -used my better judgement and went home.... All the best, Richard
Well, Richard, I had a similar thought today. As we sat down to watch my recording of the inauguration, I thought, “It would sure be great to drink some beer right now.” Then, I told myself N.F. way. Although the thought persisted throughout the evening, I made it through okay. I’m okay now, but realize that I have to again get active to maintain sobriety. By that, I mean I have to resume writing in my quit-drinking-file (which I haven’t done for about two months), and reading quit-drinking books. I have gotten too lax, and a little over-confident. Now, it’s back to similar processes I used starting on day 1, mainly reminding myself frequently WHY I am quitting drinking. When I go back and read, completely, my quit-drinking-file, I say, “Oh, my God! What a disastrous effect drinking has had on my life!” And that gets me back on the right track.
I spent three months in NYC back in ’72 – stayed in a hotel on 34th and Broadway – the McAlpin Hotel, which I don’t think is there anymore. I was going to a company school across from the UN building; rode the buses, never ventured onto the subways. Anyway, I really got into the NYC lifestyle, which was a huge contrast from where I lived at the time, North Carolina. At this point in my life, I doubt if I could deal with the pace of life in NYC for very long, but I have promised my wife that I will take her to visit three cities – NYC, Chicago, and DC – sometime in the next year or two.
I’m back on track – in good shape – got my mind straight. Reviewing my quit-drinking file did the trick. Went to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire. Excellent!
Hi, Day 159. Good call Roger. Would be good for me to check my first posts. Sometimes we forget why we decided to Quit! Travelled up to New Haven via train to do a recording session. Ended up on a bar car(only place that had room) Felt the urge a bit but shook it off.....Traveling can be boring(thus the temptation to drink and "spice things up"...(illusion) Back in New York now- SO GLAD TO BE HOME SAFE AND SOBER! All the best, Richard
I think there might be some wisdom in the AA's saying, "If you don't want to slip, avoid slippery places." Well, anyway, you survived the bar car, and can add another notch on your belt for overcoming temptation.
Hi, Day 160. Thanks Roger. Yoga class tonight..Very Humbling. I need to start practicing away from my weekly class. I am Considering starting meditation with the hopes of Quieting my mind down naturally~ All the best, Richard
For quieting the mind, don’t forget music - relaxing music, instrumentals such as:
Kevin Kern in the Enchanted Garden Steven Halpern, Radiant Health & Well-Being Sharper Image, Real Relaxation Vivaldi, Four Seasons Bach at Bedtime Yanni, Snowfall Brahms at Bedtime Beethoven at Bedtime
I put on a CD, use omni-directional cordless headphones, set the volume low, and listen while I move about the condo and do other things (sometimes even while I read or type on the computer).
Hi, Day 161. Nice list Roger. Have you read "SuperLearning" or "The Hidden Message in water"? Both discuss how music has a powerful effect on us. Check out Richard Warner's "Spirit Wind" and Earth Spirit by Carlos Nakai. Another Good day. Gym-had company tonight-good fun! All the best, Richard
Thanks, Richard. I listened to a sample of Earth Spirit on Amazon. I'll definitely add it and Spirit Wind to my collection. I like all types of music except rap.
Today was gym day for me. I'm back to alternating between aerobics at the gym one day and exercising at home the next day. For aerobics, I use a cross-trainer which some people call an elliptical machine. It gets my heart rate up without banging up my knees. Having healthy knees and hips is very important for old people. If you ever lose mobility, and can't do aerobics (at least walking), you're screwed; the body deteriorates rapidly.
All in all, a good day. I finished installing a fireplace door. Since I've added one day a week to my life - not nursing hangovers - I manage to get more accomplished.
Hi, Day 162. Another Gym day for me as well. Still Freezing here, but I am looking forward to each new day sober! All the best, Richard . FYI-Found this site inspirational:http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html
A good day here also. Time to watch Intervention. I watch the ones dealing with alcohol - have no interest in the ones dealing with food disorders, shopping addictions, etc. Also,I can't stand to watch the pathetic hard drug junkies - heroin, meth, etc.
Hi, Day 164. I've watched intervention a couple of times. I found it really helped, especially if I had any thoughts about drinking.... Worked out today with my trainer...Pushed me good! Getting ready for a snow storm here. All the best, Richard
I was feeling great today - in high spirits. The thought crossed my mind that it would great to drink some booze. Then I realized that I am most vulnerable to drinking, not when I'm stressed or depressed, but when I'm feeling euphoric about ... whatever. Anyway, I shook off the idea of drinking, and I'm committed to staying clean and sober. I'm enjoying feeling great, managing my weight, and having a better complexion.
Hi, Day 165. Good point Roger~I to share your feelings on that one. Great news etc....seems to trigger the message "Let's go celebrate at the local tavern!"~ Made it through another day Sober! All the best, Richard
A good day for me. Staying busy supporting my children in dealing with life. The news from my daughter, age 44, was positive. She informed me that she is anti-depressant-free for the first time in twenty years. She has struggled with that plus cigarettes and alcohol her entire adult life. I am optimistic that getting off anti-depressants will be a stepping stone for further improvement.
My young son, age 23 - in the Army - is working his butt off, and saying, "This training is brutal, etc.", and generally complaining about all the hard work. I told him, "Welcome to the realities of adult life. Work hard and save your money, and maybe someday you can retire and have the life I have - being bored, and each day searching for something meaningful to do."
Hi, Day 166. Congratulations to your daughter Roger~I was hooked on Paxil for 7 years and Zoloft for another 2. Doctors.......I finally found some peace and clarity with 1)affirmations (Mind Power) 2) Gym cardio/Yoga 3)Diet( really limit sugar and Fake food)Plenty Off fresh water!!!(Half one's body weight along with a touch of sea salt) 4) Online support group 5) Supplement Program of Evening Primrose Oil, Fish Oil (really helps nerves) along with two Chines herb supplements for stress and Spirulina..... I believe that each of these has had a powerful effect! Looking forward to another adventure tomorrow~ All the best, Richard
Our weekend is winding down. My wife has packed for her trip to Colombia - leaves next Wednesday for three weeks. We arranged her flights so that she can spend one day in Ft. Lauderdale with her brother, who has a high-rise condo by the beach.
I’m re-reading an excellent book I read the first time in the 60’s. I lost my original copy, but have often thought about the book. Recently, I found that it had been re-printed, and is on Amazon; so, I ordered a copy. The book is Beyond Success and Failure by Willard & Marguerite Beecher, clinical psychologists. Great book! Not about alcoholism, but makes a few references to it. Only to stimulate your curiosity, here is a paragraph from the introduction:
“Experience has taught us not to expect to keep our New Year’s resolutions! Within a few days or weeks we fall back into our old levels. We greatly underestimate how much of our life is built around our “bad” habits and the joy they give us. We do not want to give them up in the first place; we want only to rid ourselves of the pain they cost us. The alcoholic who gives up drinking is suddenly and shockingly faced with an empty, lonely life. He does not know what to do with himself when is not drinking, as most of his leisure time was spent drinking and almost all of his friends were drinkers like himself. He is suddenly filled with the horrors of sobriety and without anything to put into the vacuum left when he took the bottle out of his life.”
Hi, Day 168. Gym. TV Watching as well.... Cold as SH......Another 60 days and we'll be able to start hanging outside a bit....(hopefully!) Great to be Sober though! All the best, Richard
I ordered Nakai's Earth Spirit CD, Mind Power, a Pilates For Men book, and a Yoga book. Both books had rave reviews. I already had three Pilates and two Yoga VHS tapes. At this moment, I am copying the VHS tapes to a DVD (using DVR)- putting them all on one disc.
Hi, Day 169. Good day today. Gym etc... I find Nakai's music very relaxing. Mind Power has really helped me a lot. Good picks Roger! All the best, Richard
Earth Spirit CD arrived today. It's great! While listening to the CD, I imagine that the flute soloist is sitting on a blanket in the middle of the desert at night with a campfire burning. Very relaxing! My wife loves it, too, and insisted that I record it on cassette tape for her to take on her trip.
Hi, Day 170. Glad you (and your wife) like "Earth Spirit" Roger. Really find it very good to unwind with~ Made it through another one..... All the best, Richard
A good day. Managing stressful situations well. Life's problems don't go away when you stop drinking, but you can deal with them with a clear mind. Busy helping my wife get ready for her trip to Bogota in the a.m. I'll be alone with my adopted cat for three weeks. In a way, it's a vacation for me, too, particularly in the area of sleeping "normal" hours.
Tried Yoga yesterday with Ravi Singh's video. I can see the benefits, but it's hard on this old body in the beginning.
Hi, Day 171. I agree Roger. A whole lot easier not being drunk or HUNG-OVER~ Take it slow and easy with your Yoga. I checked out a Ravi Singh video at You tube- Not sure which one you have but these DVD/Vids can be a bit hard at first. Take things slow and easy. Know that their are MANY different styles of Yoga: http://www.matsmatsmats.com/yoga/yoga-disciplines.html
A beginners Yoga class (looked good) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4DLX0Au9WE
Also found this for stress: relief:http://johnderrick.com/spiritual/meditation/brainev-the-brain-evolution-system/ Interesting concept, various frequencies effect brain waves/function~ All the best, Richard
Thanks for the Yoga info. I did another Yoga session today, this time using Gurmukh's video. I think I'm going to stick with the Kundalini style that both she and Ravi Singh practice. I like Gurmukh a little better - a little more aerobically oriented - so I will probably stay with her. (I also like her soft, sexy voice.) The Yoga session was tough! It will either kill me and make me strong.
My oldest son and his wife have been into Yoga for many years, and have made many efforts to get me interested in it. In fact, that's how I ended with the two Kundalini VHS tapes, (that I have copied to disc), several years ago.
Well, I'm going to hang in there with Yoga for a month or so, and see if my body can adjust and cope. I'm also going to work in some Pilates, maybe Yoga one day and Pilates the next. Not sure how my existing exercise program - home exercise and gym - will fit into that plan.
Hi, Day 173. Glad Yoga is working out for you Roger. Real cold here today....Made it through though-Sober! Sad to see all of the homeless folks "living" on the Subways. Had to move an empty whiskey bottle off of a seat on the train today.....Warmer days are coming! All the best, Richard
Good day here. About 56 degrees. My wife said it was cold in Ft. Lauderdale, in the 40's.
My body is a little stiff and sore from Yoga. I'll wait a couple of days before resuming. Today, I did aerobics at the gym. Tomorrow, I'll exercise at home, then try Yoga again on Saturday.
I’m on a roll! This time, I’m going to make it! September 17, 2009 is my one-year celebration day! It’s a long time off; however, at this time, I don’t see any obstacles that would derail my quest to stay sober. It feels great! I have to stop lamenting about why I didn’t do this forty years ago. Forget about the past! And no, I’m not going to re-kindle old wounds by apologizing to anyone for past screw-ups. I am going to let my present and future behavior do my talking for me.
I see the booze industry for what it is, legitimate drug-peddling. I’d like to see ‘em bring prohibition back, and this time enforce it. Of course, that will never happen. Our society is too dependent on mind/body-numbing alcohol to help cope with the difficulties of life. Most of the people can’t see that alcohol hurts much more than it helps. But for those of us who have the strength and determination to stop drinking alcohol, we can look out across the landscape of drinkers and rejoice in our sobriety. No more hangovers! No more embarrassment! No more worrying about what we did or said while drinking!
It's a rainy day here, and I'm lovin' it! Rain is such a rare occurrence in the desert that, when it comes, it is cause for celebration.
Last night at midnight I started my Casio watch's stop-watch feature, and let the stop-watch run continuously since then. I can see time pass 1/100 second at a time. Because I started the stop-watch at midnight, and it is a 24-hour stop-watch, the stop-watch mode also serves as a regular watch, but with military time. So ... I use the stop-watch, with its fast-moving digital display, to remind me continuously of my SUCCESS in staying sober.
Hi Day 175. Sounds like a nice watch. I am looking for a watch that I could program to go off at various times during the day. I need reminders when its time to shift into other areas of my day. i.e practice horn, Gym, etc.... Warm here today 49!!! Felt Great!!! All the best, Richard
My digital watch is an el-cheapo from Target. I just turned on the Stop-Watch feature and left it on. Serves as a 24-hour watch, and makes me feel like I’m racking up sobriety time faster.
Let’s see, multiple alarms, hmmm. I would use the Hourly Time Signal available on most digital watches – beeps every hour on the hour. (Irritating to me.) Always keeps you cognizant of the time.
Today was gym for me also. Tomorrow is exercise at home day. Tuesday is Yoga day, which I'm looking forward to. Once I got past the initial soreness and learned not to push myself too hard, I enjoyed the last Yoga session (on Saturday).
Hi, Day 179. A great idea Roger. I thought about that a ways back also. I did not want to sound ... I Am really grateful for this site and our correspondence. I realize at times my post may be only a few lines. I think just showing up really makes a difference.(Hell we are both sober!...) I agree, it would be great to have more folks experiences and perspectives on here as well. I have been waking up the last two nights with anxiety and shortness of breath. Nothing to serious-almost feels like my mind emptying out old stress. With that said, I also started to put 1 teaspoon of Aloe Vera in my carrot/apple Juice in the mornings. I have a VERY sensitive system and am wondering if that might be causing it. I had also worked out at the GYM for 4 days straight hard~ 25 miles a day on the bike etc....(Dam Extremes-All or nothing!..)wondering if I just over did it a bit..... Things seem to be quieting down. Hopefully I will sleep good tonight. All the best, Richard
I’m out of my league making any observations, opinions, or suggestions about dealing with anxiety and problems breathing, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. From my limited, layperson experience I doubt if the aloe vera or excessive exercise are the cause. I would be more inclined to look elsewhere such as supplements being taken, (new or changed), or stress in your life due to work, financial, or personal situations. It might help to read or re-read Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Also, I would replace much of the exercise you are doing with more meditation and yoga.
It sounds like you are overdoing the exercising. For what it’s worth, here is my routine, which is not very strenuous.
Day 1 – Gym – forty minutes (30-min. aerobics, HR=110, 10-min. legs and back)
Day 2- Home Exercise – fifteen minutes (a few sit-ups, pushups, stretches, and 15-lb weights)
Day 3 – Yoga – fifty minutes (Gurmukh video). (This is the most difficult one, but the one I like the best. I have thought of scrapping the gym and home exercise, and just doing yoga. But, in the end, decided that doing all three is best.
Hi, Day 180~ Roger, Thanks for your book. So far so Good! Read the first two chapters. Going to chip away at it. You defiantly have something going on.... I can see a lot of images of your story in my mind....The only suggestion so far is could you add some pictures of you/dad etc... as a kid etc... Might help things come to life a little more. A thought, why not self-publish online. http://www.lulu.com/en/about/demo.php?cid=en_tab_demo I have done this with CD baby. My latest recording "Blues Twilight" is available there (as well as a lot of other sites as well) Their is a 50/50 split on all downloads. The days of having physical copies made and distributed are rapidly coming to an end. All the best, Richard
Pictures might be good for my early life and late life. The years in the middle? Oh, I wouldn't want many pictures of that! Kidding... sort of.
Yeah, self-publishing online is a possibility. I appreciate the tip. It becomes a question of motivation. I'll get around to researching it. Thanks for the website info for LULU online.
I agree with your last sentence: "The days of having physical copies made and distributed are rapidly coming to an end." Even printed newspapers are, I think, on the way to extinction. My first clue was when they started sending me to the internet for "more complete" TV listings. I fumed about it, but gradually accepted it. (I am of the generation that had to adapt to pumping my own gasoline and cleaning up the mess after eating in fast food places.)I'm still fighting self-check-out in stores, but, no doubt, will lose that battle, too.
I had already researched you on the internet - knew about Blues Twilight, watched videos of solo performances (I liked Ain't No Sunshine), etc. I'll definitely add Blues Twilight to my physical copy collection. Since you mentioned traveling to a recording session, I assume you are working on another album. Let me know when it comes out.
Hi, Day 181. Went to an art gallery party then a bar.... Actually had fun~ A lot of talking-good for me to socialize sober. Each time I do it gets a little easier. I do have a bit of a problem with the chatter of the crowd noise. I feel a bit confused with it. It sort of overloads my brain...I was diagnosed with dyslexia a few years back-probably has something to do with it. I am working on another project/recording-will be a while before this one is done....... All the best, Richard
A good day. Counting the days until my wife returns from Colombia. We talk daily, free through the internet. Well, free for us. I think her sister pays for the service on her end.
Yoga is going great. Finally, I can see why my son and his wife have been so high on yoga. (She went to Indonesia to study with a guru for a month, Rodney something.)I am really a novice at it. It will be several months before my body adapts to the stretching, etc. But even now, I feel great after a session. My long-term plan, as I become more and more ancient, is to do yoga one day and pilates the next, and drop the gym and other home exercises (push-ups, etc.)
Hi, Day 182. I hear you on the Yoga Roger. Had a private "lesson" with my Yoga teacher today. Learned the Sun Salutation. Looking forward to my daily practice! All the best, Richard
I received Mind Power today. Excellent book! Thank you for telling me about it. I am going to ensure that my children get the book. I think the book is better than The Secret, which has been a Best Seller for a long time.
Just returned from the gym. Contemplating doing both home exercises and yoga tomorrow. If I can pull that off, I will be able to get my schedule down to "every other day" for everything I'm doing - gym (aerobics), yoga, and home exercises.
Hi, Day 183. Officially more than half way to 1 year of sobriety! Really glad you like the book! Mind Power has had a big influence on me. I do my affirmations every day. Yoga is a keeper for sure~ All the best, Richard
Hope every finds it over here ok. Other site is not working again
ReplyDeleteDay 48
ReplyDeleteHi, Michelle
Richard and I have been posting comments on the "This is for you" blog on this website, but now that you are here, maybe we can all settle on this one, "Quitters1dayatatime". I'll leave him a note and suggest that we switch to this blog.
I hope everything is going great for you.
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 79. Finally at the right spot! All is well here-looking forward to the
election and going to the gym tomorrow!
All the best,
Richard
ok I book marked this page! I think that i am all set now.
ReplyDeleteMy "friend", I think she wasn't sure (last year) if I had really quit or if it was just temporary. We only see them maybe 3 times a year and its always a holiday. She knows now. And she also knows that my husband has quit as well. It was all good that night. No pressure, from anyone. It was enjoyable to not have to worry about being judged for NOT drinking.
ReplyDeleteDay 48
ReplyDeleteBell~~ I noticed in the post by QUITTER on the home page in the blog THIS IS FOR YOU, has been sober since September 23, 2006. Isn't that also your quit day, or close to it?
Well, I'm happy that we are back in communication. I really like this site. I hope that Jasmine joins us soon, and that others find us here.
Gotta go do my daily relaxation exercise (30 minutes in a darkened room with relaxation music). It must be working for me, because I have been quite calm since I started doing it.
Roger
Day 49
ReplyDeleteOoops! A stinking thought! Last night, just before the start of my 3-day weekend, I thought, “It would be great to go into party mode while watching the election returns.” This was after I had been feeling so great with 48 days of sobriety. Then I told myself, “N.F. Way! It ain’t gonna happen!”
I’m okay today. I will make it through this weekend just fine. I just remembered, I’ve been negligent in reading my Quit Drinking affirmation lately. I am going to read it now, and resume reading it daily.
I hope everyone is doing great!
Roger
YES quitter is me :) I made this blog :)
ReplyDeleteI just randomly found a place where I could start my own blog and made it with the help of jas :)It's ours to do as we please. That's why it took a while to figure it out. I didn't realize that I had started 3 different archives. So we can stick to this one. Jas, any suggestions on how to get the link out. I'll try doing a search on google and see if I can find it.
Great decision to NOT drink Roger. It would be so easy to slip up. You did great.
Day 50
ReplyDeleteHere is an excerpt from the Introduction in the book, A Drinking Life, by Pete Hamill:
“More than twenty years have gone by since I stopped drinking. My father died at eighty; my mother lives on. I’m happily married to a wonderful woman and work even harder than I did when young. But life doesn’t get easier when you walk away from the culture of drink; you simply live it with greater lucidity.
I started writing this book when some of my friends from the drinking life began to die. They were decent, talented, generous, and humane. But as they approached the end, physically ruined by decades of drinking, I remembered more of their good times than they did. In a way, this book is about them too.”
A couple of other excerpts:
“And I said to myself, I’m never going to do this again.
I finished my drink. It was the last one I ever had.”
“I didn’t join Alcoholics Anonymous. I didn’t seek out other help. I just stopped. My goal was provisional and modest: one month without drinking. For the first few weeks, this wasn’t easy. I had to break the habits of a lifetime. But I did some mechanical things. I created a mantra for myself, saying over and over again, “I will live my life from now on, I will not perform it.”
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 80.
(Just lost comment-and am reposting.) Had a Great day, Up at 5:00 to vote for 6:00-felt great!!!(I remember stumbling home drunk at 5:00...) Smart move Roger- I had those feelings for a minute while walking home from the gym. "go to a bar...watch election......"
ended up at home, treated myself to a great meal. Really inspired to keep moving forward!
All the best,
Richard
ok so I go by Michelle but my nickname is Michelle my Bell. You'll see me post as both in here. depends on my mood :)
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteDay 81. I see you are a Beetles fan Michelle....
Made it through another day-Hope everyone is doing great!
Best,
Richard
ya I do like the Beatles but it was my neighbor when I was young that sang that song to me all the time so it has just stuck with me.
ReplyDeleteRbjazztp~ you are just about at 90 days. Thats a 1/4 of a year already:) how about that.
Day 51
ReplyDeleteGreat weekend! Happy with election outcome. Nothing spectacular to report – lots of relaxing and TV watching. Today, I’ll venture out of the cave and do a little shopping.
My best to all.
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 82. Thanks Bell~ I am trying to help someone who I care about a whole lot quit drinking/smoking and get healthy (we happen to live together...). After last weekend, she told me she really wanted to quit and get healthy etc.... How do you help someone and not appear/act controlling? (She wanted to buy some beers tonight and I discouraged her....) I'm sure she'll thank me in the morning-
It's a bit tricky as we live together......( causing a bit of tension in the air)-
I really do love/appreciate a healthy sober life!....
Hope everyone is doing great!!!
Best,
Richard
Richard, hopefully your friend will learn by example. She has scene you grow and become a happier person, but quitting 2 things at once is going to be really tough. You will be great for her, and she "will" thank you in the morning. Be careful though because if she knows that you are going to discourage her then she'll probably not tell you next time. All you can do it be there for her. If this is her time to quit, she will. Just be positive. Make plans for the 2 of you to hang out in sober situations. That could be tricky, you can drink just about anywhere.
ReplyDeleteI have the next 3 days off, going fishing fri, painting ( side job) w/ my husband on sat and sun. Not how I want to spend my days off, but then neither does he so we'll get through it together. Hay there ya go, Richard, go pick out some paint and redo the kitchen, bedroom, etc..... that would be something to keep her busy:)
ooopps, seen!!!!! not scene
ReplyDeleteDay 51
ReplyDeleteRichard~~ I think it’s easier to tackle one addiction at a time. Here’s what I recommend for your friend:
1. Quit drinking alcohol. (This, in itself, is a major undertaking, is it not?)
2. After ninety days of sobriety, quit smoking cigarettes and start using nicotine gum or a patch.
3. After six months on the alternate form of nicotine intake, stop using nicotine all together. It might be best to wean off of it gradually by reducing the strength of the nicotine intake.
Certainly not everyone would agree with this approach. Here is information from some research in Canada:
“New research indicates that nicotine causes the brain to crave alcohol. Led by Toronto’s Dr. Dzung Anh Le, a study on rats by Canadian and U.S. scientists has found that nicotine use increases alcohol consumption, and the two addictions may work hand in hand. With this in mind, trying to quit both habits at once, painful as it may be in the short-term, may well be a better long-term strategy.”
From a lot of personal experience, I disagree with quitting both addictions at once. In looking back over my past “attempts” to quit alcohol, almost every time I started back was after I tried to quit nicotine as well. I would get sixty days into quitting alcohol, then decide to take on the nicotine monster. After a short period of time, no more than thirty days, I would start back on BOTH. Having learned from that, this time I’m going to wait a “long time” before trying to quit nicotine.
One of the few positive things I’ve accomplished is getting off cigarettes twenty-five years ago. But I’m still using nicotine in the form of snuff pouches, Skoal Bandits. (It’s inconvenient for romance – lots of teeth brushing and mouth washing, first.) Nevertheless, I think that is probably the reason I’m still alive today. In my opinion, cigarettes are stone-cold killers.
I’ll be seventy years old tomorrow. (I told you I have a lot experience.)
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 83. First off, Happy Birthday Roger!!! Will this be your first birthday sober? Enjoy and Congratulations!
~Thank-you Bell and Roger. I really appreciate both of your comments-very helpful. I guess their is a part of me that has a hard time being with someone who uses alcohol/cigarettes for stress relief(or whatever). To be honest, the smell really turns me off, I also feel somewhat cheated when talking to someone who is under the influence. It's not that I am coming from a place of arrogance as much as I really feel cheated by a quality exchange of the moment....
Things are sad that don't mean anything-empty words.....
Another thought, I know folks who get stoned yet are proud of their "sobriety" (no alcohol) Is this somewhat of an illusion-replacing one for the other?
All the best,
Richard
Day 52
ReplyDeleteRichard~~ I know what you mean about the smell of cigarettes turning you off. For your personal benefit, maybe you should get your friend to tackle nicotine first. There are nicotine patches and/or gum available without prescription. Also, doctors can prescribe medication to help a person quit nicotine. I’ve seen advertisements about Chantix. I think it might be a good move to get her to talk to a doctor. If she could get on quit-nicotine medication, then later you might suggest that you both attend some AA meetings. This would be primarily for her benefit, because I don’t think you need AA, but it shouldn’t be harmful to you to attend some meetings with her.
Good luck!
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 84. Thanks for the advice Roger~ Good stuff!
Went to a Party tonight-stayed for 3 hours. For the most part it went very well. I do have a hard time hearing/focusing on one conversation when their are a lot (30+) people talking at once. It seems like my hearing/brain is very sensitive to more than a few sounds at once. Hard for me to filter out surrounding noises..Tends to throw me a bit into "overdrive" Hope everyone is having a great weekend!!!
All the best,
Richard
Day 53
ReplyDeleteI’ve discovered something from this 30-minute relaxation exercise I’ve been doing. In addition to relaxing my body, it relaxes my mind as well. I’m using relaxation music, (instrumentals only), but I think it works also without music. For most of us, every waking moment our brains are absorbing SOMETHING – newspapers, magazines, TV, conversations, books, songs, etc. It helps a bunch to give our brain a rest!
Backing in my working days, one day I was ready to leave for work about thirty minutes early. Instead of leaving, I sat on a couch, stared at a blank wall, and did NOTHING for thirty minutes. That entire evening at work, I was very relaxed. I kind of think that’s what meditation is all about – giving the brain a rest.
Best to everyone!
Roger
Happy Birthday Roger. 70 yrs. a great milestone and you are proof that it's never to late to quit a bad habit. I am not saying that you are old :) but you get my drift. I'll be 40 in Jan.
ReplyDeleteBeen busy painting this weekend. I'll have tome to sit and read your post on monday.
Day 54
ReplyDeleteBased on a fairly inactive lifestyle in retirement, I need only about 1800 calories per day to stay at the same weight. But, I would like to lose a few pounds around the belly. So, I put myself on a calorie budget. I allow myself 12,000 calories per week. This works out to be about 1714 calories per day. In order to splurge a bit for a couple of days, I allocate the calories as follows:
Mon 1600
Tue 1600
Wed 2000
Thu 1600
Fri 1600
Sat 2000
Sun 1600
Counting calories is a pain, but it’s the only thing that works for me to control my weight.
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 85. Roger~ Do you have a recorded visualization you use?
Sounds like a good idea before going to sleep-really slow the mind down.
All the best!
Richard
Richard~ Slowing the mind down is a side benefit of the relaxation exercise, the main purpose of which is to completely relax the body. According to the psychiatrist who wrote the book, Release from Nervous Tension, the secret to “fixing” all kinds of emotional conflicts, etc., is Self-Directed Relaxation. It works! About an hour before my wife comes home from work at 4:30 a.m., I do the relaxation bit for 30 minutes. When she unloads on me with all of the stress and problems of her job, I can handle it with ease, whereas I used to get all uptight about it.
ReplyDeleteDay 55
ReplyDeleteHere’s a psychological trick I learned in the book, Release from Nervous Tension. Before you go to sleep at night, tell yourself, “I’ll never take another drink of alcohol.” Apparently, programming your mind before you go to sleep has a powerful effect, almost like hypnosis. Here are a few other things you could say. “I’ll be completely relaxed while I sleep.” “Tomorrow, I’ll be pleasant to everyone I meet.” Etc…
Best to all!
Roger
roger and Richard~ I am so glad that you two are able to use this blog. I wish that I had the time to sit and write. It's after 11pm and I have to get up in 6hrs and do it all over again.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are doing great. I am going to bed and visualize a nice dream in head and hopefully get some sleep. I do believe in the sleep and mind thing. I used to record my voice while reading notes from school, when I had a test the next day. I would fall asleep to it and it would play over and over again. I always did great on the test. GO FIGURE.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 86. Thanks Roger and Bell. No doubt our minds are a BIG part of this whole thing. Change our thoughts and change our lives! The outside world won't change but we can change the way we look at it~ I agree with both of you that suggestions before going to sleep are very powerful and have found that by 1) quitting drinking 2)Using affirmations (Mind Power-John kehoe) 3) Diet change-"The warrior diet" 4) Joining a gym and doing cardio(bike) and Yoga along with taking certain supplements 5) having a support group!
I have become a new person. I have lost 40 pounds and no longer have anxiety/panic attacks- It is really amazing.....The first big and key step was and is sobriety. It offers one consistency and sanity.
All the best and Thank-you for this wonderful group!!!!
Richard
Day 56
ReplyDeleteRichard~ Losing 40 pounds and no more anxiety/panic attacks! That’s what I call progress! I’m happy for you. By staying on the path you’re on, I predict you’ll experience other improvements in your life.
Michelle~ You mentioned that you’ll turn 40 in January. I remember when I turned 40, I thought I was getting old, but now realize that it was only my youth coming to an end. I relate better to your age group than to my own. My older children are in their forties, and my wife will be 49 in January.
Here is the first paragraph of the Introduction of my memoir, which I am in the process of wrapping up. Early indications are that it’s unlikely I’ll get it published, but it gave me something to do for a couple of years:
INTRODUCTION
“I guess you could say that I’m an old fart, although honestly I don’t feel old. This month I turned 70, and I feel great. I hit the gym every other day, and exercise at home on the alternate days. My third wife is 21 years younger than I am, so maybe that’s what keeps me thinking young. Living in an exciting city probably helps as well. I got married the first time when I was 20; a son was born when I was 21; a daughter was born when I was 26; I got divorced when I was 37; when I was 40, I remarried to a woman who was 21; a son was born when I was 46; I got divorced when I was 57; I remarried when I was 63. I’m seven years into my third marriage, and it is working out great. “
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 87. Wow Roger, you have had quite a ride. One of my all time favorite writers is Joseph Campbell. He says " I don't think we are searching for the meaning of life, I think we are looking for an experience." Clearly you have done and are living that~
Really great that you are working out as much as you are!
In the past I have had a hard time with comparing myself with others thinking " "Joe" had done this and this by the time he was say age 35-I am behind!" I am now 42 and remember changing the way I looked at things around 40. Come to think of it, I really started to focus in on what was working, what was not and what changes I wanted to make. On another level I realize that we are exactly where we are supposed to be in life, and that each of us has are own unique life to live and story to tell. I am just grateful I was able to quit drinking and really feel alive!
All the best,
Richard
Day 57
ReplyDeleteRichard~ I've read only one of Joseph Campbell's books -The Power of Myth - co-authored by Bill Moyers. From the book, I remember the expression, "follow your bliss", which I interpreted, as I recall, to do what makes you happiest. I've done that, probably more than I should have, which is why I ended up in Las Vegas sixteen years ago.
I'm getting tired of reading Quit-Drinking books, although I just ordered another one, The Easy Way to Stop Drinking, by Allen Carr.
I also have in my cart, but haven't ordered yet, Mind Power, that you've mentioned.
Here are three of my all-time favorite books: Aztec by Gary Jennings, The Journeyer by Gary Jennings, and Shogun by James Clavell.
I'm on my weekend. My wife works four ten-hour shifts, Friday to Monday, and has Tue-Wed-Thu off. Tomorrow is errand day, plus our day to eat out. In the past, Tuesday was always private-party-get-drunk day, and Wednesday was hangover day. I'm finished with that, and now have more time to enjoy life.
Michelle~ Hello. I hope you are not working too hard.
Best to all!
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 88.
Roger, FYI the book is called "Mind Power into the 21st Century" by John Kehoe. I checked Amazon and found one other book called Mind Power...... Another good day here. I did start drinking tap water(chlorinated) the last couple of days (trying to save $$ on bottled water) and have noticed that I feel somewhat more irritable (not as relaxed)...Any thoughts on drinking chlorinated tap water?
All the best,
Richard
Day 57
ReplyDeleteRichard~ I suppose it’s possible that experiencing irritability could be from the water, but, frankly, I doubt it. I don’t drink tap water, and I experienced the same thing two or three weeks back. It went away after I did a couple of 30-minute relaxation sessions – lying on my back, listening to relaxation music, and telling my body to relax. I am resistant to giving up 30 minutes of my life for relaxation sessions - kinda feel like I’m wasting time - but after doing a session I find that the benefits are amazing.
Here is what Dr. Ludwig in the book, Understanding the Alcoholic’s Mind, said about withdrawal:
“Individuals can remain irritable, restless, and depressed as an expression of abstinence from alcohol for up to four to six months, and have trouble sleeping and difficulties in thinking for up to a year.”
New subj: I checked my Amazon cart, and I had selected the correct Mind Power. Thanks.
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 89.
A Good Day. Happy to be sober!
All the best,
Richard
Day 59
ReplyDeleteI'm hanging in there; reading a great book, The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr.
Where are you, Michelle?
Best to all!
Roger
Day 60
ReplyDeleteRichard~ I’m feeling great, too. Clean and sober is the way to go. It helps to have a clear mind and a healthy body to deal with the challenges we encounter in daily living.
I think skipping the college football game was a good move. You could have gotten through it by “faking it”, and acting similar to the way you would if you were drinking. I’ve done that in the past when I wasn’t drinking – party up with everyone else, and rarely did anyone even notice that I wasn’t drinking. However, this time I’m going to get about a year of sobriety under my belt before taking on a festive event. By then, I’ll have be very confident in knowing that I don’t have to guzzle booze to enjoy myself with my rowdy friends, and they’ll know and accept, (and probably be a little envious), of my success in breaking free of alcohol.
Roger
Previous, change the phrase "I'll have be" to "I'll be"
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteDay 91.
I treated myself to a good meal with a generous desert. Strawberry
short cake with whip cream..... Had a hard time sleeping though. I think my body is very sensitive to sugar. I notice mood changes when I consume chemicals and sugar. Have to be more mindful of the diet....
I think you are write Roger about building up more time. I would like to think that their is a certain amount of time that really qualifies you as a "non-drinker". I have in the past shared my attempts to quit with acquaintances who would say things like "3 months, I thought you had quit for 3 years...." implying that 3 months is really nothing. I would then say what the hell and go to the nearest bar...This time around, I am keeping my status a bit less public. This avoids having to answer why I am not drinking.
Best,
Richard
Day 61
ReplyDeleteHere is an excerpt from the book, When AA Doesn’t Work For You - Rational Steps to Quitting Alcohol:
“An important factor in relapse is that problem drinkers, like many people, tend to forget the negative aspects of their past bouts with alcohol faster than they forget the positive aspects. This tendency helps them talk themselves into relapse. They focus on the positive, magnify it (“euphoric recall”), make it up in their heads that they should be able to drink without problems “this time”, and tend to forget the negative. It is a bother and a hassle to remember the negative aspects of reality. Who wouldn’t like to escape and avoid such memories? Even if your search for “the happy hour” has ended in unhappiness, depression, and many other problems, your thoughts may still easily center first on alcohol’s euphoric and stress-relieving effects and ignore its long-term crummy effects. But it is just such memories that you had better keep alive in your mind to help you avoid bigger bothers and hassles in the future.”
The author(s) go on to say that you should create a shitlist, a long list of all the disadvantages of your drinking problem, and add to it over the days and weeks to make sure that you don’t omit any of the important ones.
Best to all,
Roger
sorry guys, I have been painting with my husband (away from home) and then last night my sister in law broke her leg. She fell shoveling snow. YES SNOW already. I spent the night and all day sunday with her. He husband was out of town. I'll read and then write on monday :)
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteDay 92.
Roger, thank-you for sharing. I particularly like the "shit list" idea. Easy to forget why you quit in the first place, especially when you are feeling great...."What the hell, I'm doing well, no harm in having a little fun..." I spoke with my brother last night who reminded me that we are meeting at a local bar the night before thanksgiving. I let him know that I quit drinking-but would still join him. Any thoughts on what to drink (or at least order) besides water? i.e Red Bull etc...
Hi Bell, Sorry to hear about your sister in Law- Ouch!
Snow already.....
All the best.
Richard
Day 62
ReplyDeleteRichard~
Club soda with a twist of lime is a good choice. Or, Perrier and lime.
Before meeting with your brother, you should give yourself a talk. Say, “I quit drinking. I didn’t half-assed quit. I QUIT! There’s no way I’m going to mess up what I’ve achieved thus far. I am DETERMINED to get through these holidays clean and sober.”
Think ahead to Thanksgiving in 2009. You will be able to say to your brother, “I TOLD you I quit. I haven’t had any alcohol for fifteen months now. I’m feeling great, and I’m not going to drink again.”
I think there’s an art to being in a bar and not drinking alcohol. First, you don’t want to be withdrawn, or have a holier-than-thou attitude toward the drinkers. You should join right in, as if you were drinking, have fun, buy a round when it’s your turn. Second, be patient and tolerant while you watch the people get inebriated. Remember, you’ve been there and done that.
Michelle~
I’m glad you’re back. I know about those Michigan winters. My first wife was from the Cadillac area. I lived in Lansing for three years, and one year in Grand Rapids. Now, I live in Las Vegas where, for the past sixteen years, I’ve seen only a few flakes of snow that melts almost as soon as it hits the ground. I saw a documentary, though, that showed that Las Vegas got nine inches of snow back in the sixties or seventies. Based on what I’ve seen so far, it’s hard for me to believe.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 93.
Thanks for the tips Roger. Club Soda/ Lime sounds good. I know what you mean about the art of hanging in a bar without drinking. Not acting/feeling withdrawn-inhibited or better than others because you are sober. My goal is to be able to really enjoy hanging out in a bar sober! Go for conversation-LISTEN to other peoples perspectives verses my own beer induced babble....I do sometimes forget that folks around me are drinking and are sometimes reacting the way they do because of the drink....Also, not everyone in a bar/club is drinking or drunk. How would you recommend I react to someone asking to buy me a drink? I have noticed that some people can be put off if you don't except their offer. (The folks I will be around in the bar in my hometown are old school, salt of the earth types....mill workers etc...) Really glad to have some time sober under my belt going into the holidays, helps confidence level a lot!
All the best,
Richard
Day 62
ReplyDeleteRichard~
Turning down someone’s offer to buy you a drink is a tough one. I would definitely lie, such as:
“No, thanks, I’m on the wagon. Doc told me if I don’t stop boozin’, I’m gonna need a liver transplant. I’ve been following his advice for, oh, three months or so, feeling good. How have you been?”
or
“Sure, but I’m just drinkin’ soda. I’ve got some stomach problems – laying off the booze for awhile. Damn, it’s good to see you! How have you been?”
You can probably think of some other responses based on knowing the people.
Here are a few excerpts from the book, A Drinking Life, by Pete Hamill:
“Finally I tested myself at the Lion’s Head, standing at the bar with the regulars. I didn’t want to come among them with the zeal of a new convert. They knew I was off the sauce and smiled in a knowing way when I ordered a ginger ale. The smiles were understandable; a lot of people we knew had quit drinking before, and some of them were right there at the bar, belting down whiskey.”
“It was the drunks who were the problem. I started hearing stories I’d heard many times before, or relatively new ones repeated four times in an evening. I was polite. I listened. I laughed at the punch lines. But I didn’t drink.”
“The temptation to begin anew grew weaker and then, before the year was finished, disappeared. Somehow, I’d replaced the habit of drinking with the habit of nondrinking. I still visited bars, listened to the stories, remembered the few memorable remarks, but even the bartenders now began to pour a soda when I walked in.”
“One January afternoon, after five sober years, …”
Best to all,
Roger
Hi guys.
ReplyDeleteRoger~~ I am on the St. Clair river. St. Clair County. Do you recall that?? That's where I do my fishing. Canada is just accross the way.
My husband and I will still visit the same bars that we to frequent when we both drank,. only now we sit at the table section of the bar and order food, w/ a piture of Iced tea. When we do go to actual bar, we are not up there very long. We might see an old friend and go say hello, but like you said, the stories are the same ones that you heard before. Its pretty annoying. My husbands avoids the whole thing as best he can. He will even pretend not to see someone, just so that he doesn't have to listen. :)
Day 94.
ReplyDeleteThanks Roger- I think the "I'm on the wagon" or "I'm driving" should be fine. I really don't feel like explaining why I am doing what I am doing (choosing not to drink). What I don't want to do is stop or even cut down on socializing with folks. Hi Michelle, the iced tea sounds good! Thanks~
All the best,
Richard
hi guy, thats me and my fish. Hope everyone is doing well today. Its another weekend already. going bowling tonight w/ me daughter. Do either of you have any input on the Coast Guard. My son is considering joining after he graduates. He is very mechanically inclined. An old school friend of my husband retired at the age of 42 from the coast guard is going to take my son out for day to bases and give him the pros and cons. Kind of exciting for him. He wasn't looking forward to graduating w/ the economy the way that it is. Even though he will be a state certified Auto Mech. when he graduated. The jobs in the auto industry, yikes. But this idea gives him alot of hope to his future :)
ReplyDeleteDay 66
ReplyDeleteMichelle~ I think the Coast Guard would be an excellent career for your son. I was in the Navy for eight years – wished I had stayed for 20. My youngest son, age 23, joined the Army in January; he just finished Airborne school. Even though he is in a dangerous branch in a dangerous job, I hope he makes a career out of it. I think the Coast Guard is a good choice because I see it as safer than, say, the Army or Marines.
You can learn all about the Coast Guard by visiting the website www.uscg.mil.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 97. Not that familiar with the armed services. Retiring at 42 sure does sound good though! Did a recording session tonight. Saw an old
friend of mine-thought about going down "memory lane" for about 5 seconds-luckily came to my senses!
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 98. Had some "family drama" to deal with. I know that part of life is dealing with problems. Learning to handle them gracefully-focus on the solution rather than the problem.....Realizing that even though I am sober, every day may still not be ideal- I am pleased that I did not think about drinking when confronted with this! Will hit the gym for a good long bike ride/work out. Wondering if the drama tends to increase during the holiday season.
All the best,
Richard
Day 67
ReplyDeleteMichelle~ I had a hard time locating the St. Clair River on the Michigan map. I was looking at the small blue lines showing rivers, couldn’t find the St. Clair, and finally discovered that it is a very large river that separates Michigan from Ontario. Wow! So, I googled St. Clair River, and found a good article in Wikipedia. Here is what the article shows for HISTORY:
In the 1700s, French voyageurs travelled on the river in canoes loaded with furs destined to adorn Europe's royalty. Ships built at Marine City, Michigan during the mid-1800s carried immigrants up the river on their way to new homes in the American West. During the 20th century, freighters returned from the upper Great Lakes with iron ore, copper, grain - products of some of these settlers' labor.
I haven’t been to that part of Michigan except once when I drove to Port Huron to cross Ontario on the way to New York. The area in which you live is opposite to the one in which I live, in that your area has lots of water, and mine is a desert.
I have a lot of pleasant memories from my time in Michigan. One of the more memorable ones was a two-day canoe trip with my son, floating down the Manistee River, starting about thirty miles upriver from the little town of Mesick, NW of Cadillac.
Richard~ Congratulations on 1) not “going down memory lane” with your friend, and 2) coping with the “family drama”. That’s all part of the challenge of dealing with life without self-medicating with alcohol. The important thing is, you did it, and you will be stronger as a result. We are going to make it through these holidays, and be among the few people who wake up on the first day of 2009 with a clear head, and ready to face the New Year with hope and optimism.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 99. A good day. Starting to think about goals for 2009.
Hope everyone is doing great~
All the best,
Richard
Day 69
ReplyDeleteA good day for me, too. I'm reading The Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Allen Carr. It is an excellent book for anyone who drinks, (he says 90% of the population), regardless of whether they have a "problem" (yet).
Not that I think I have this drinking thing whipped, but I am getting ready to take on nicotine again. I've read conflicting reports on whether it is wise to quit nicotine while you are early into quitting alcohol. Some say that you should wait at least a year, while others say that quitting nicotine actually makes it easier to quit drinking.
I do know that I would like to be completely drug free, permanently, and I sincerely believe that I am going to reach that goal soon.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 100. Roger,please keep us updated on how your nicotine program goes-Being sober these past 100 days is allowing me to look at life in a different light. Sort of doing a what works/doesn't work exercise.
Letting go of the old parts of me that don't work and are out of balance. Living a life of sobriety, exercise, Yoga, a good diet, supplements, affirmations and prayer seems to work!
All the best,
Richard
Day 70
ReplyDeleteRichard~ Not only have you made it to day 100, it sounds like you are on the right track for long-term success. I'm happy for you. Your success is an inspiration for me. Well, that's what a support group is all about. Blogging has helped me a bunch.
I haven't set a firm date for when I'll quit nicotine. I'm thinking Feb. 4th. I'll have three weeks of alone time then, since my wife will be going to visit her mom in Colombia for three weeks. I'm doing a lot of preparation for quitting nicotine because of a past failure of quitting nicotine on day 67 of not drinking, making it to day 98, and then starting back on nicotine AND alcohol. Why did that happen? I don't know. I was doing great, but I think the problem was that I forgot why I quit alcohol in the first place. That isn't going to happen this time.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 101. Right back at you Roger~ You and michelle along with the folks at "We Quit Drinking" have been VERY helpful in getting me this far!
I am Really appreciative/grateful. Roger, found this online: http://quitsmoking.about.com/cs/yourfirstweek/a/tipsfirstweek.htm
I know you are not dealing with cigarettes but I would imagine many of the principals are the same. Leaving town tonight-not sure if I will be able to log on for a few days. Wishing everyone a very happy Thanksgiving!
All the best,
Richard
Day 71
ReplyDeleteJust watched the old movie Days of Wine and Roses, a great movie to watch for those who have quit drinking. Happy Thanksgiving!
Roger
Hi guys, don't have time to read, but your both still here so you are doing great. I did catch 100days. Congratulations!!!!!! I remember that day well. I will read and then catch up on fri. Hope you both have a great-sober holiday :)
ReplyDeleteDay 72
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving meal was great! Ate too much! I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.
Best,
Roger
Day 73
ReplyDeleteOn Thanksgiving day, my wife and I had an unusual, but small confrontation. I was grouchy from waking up from a nap just before the meal. Then she rushed me to help her do something. I lost my cool, yelled at her. She was deeply offended for the rest of the day and night. Later, we talked. She complained that my personality has changed since I quit drinking, and said, in a roundabout way, that we don’t have any fun anymore – since I don’t get drunk and party the way I used to do. I informed her that she is going to have to get used to the new me, and that I’m not going to drink anymore. But I did vow to try to “do better”. We patched things up. She suggested that I consider taking Bach’s Herbal Essence, Rescue, but not the version that has alcohol in it. I told her that I would look into it. Tonight, when she went to work, I went out and bought flowers for her, so she will be happy when she comes home in the a.m.
Best to all,
Roger
Day 75
ReplyDeleteDoing well. Hanging in there. No problems, especially since I gave my wife the flowers. Lots of resolve to give up drinking permanently. Michelle and Richard, I hope things are going well for you.
My best,
Roger
Day 75
ReplyDeleteIn my quest to quit drinking I have read many books, looking for ideas that will help. The latest book I read is The Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes, M.D. He is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. He says that breaking addictions is more psychological than physical, and points out as evidence that returning Viet Nam vets were able to break their heroin addictions. As an analyst, he believes that it is important to uncover the “reason” a person begins and continues to use addictive substances. Of course, he thinks that psychotherapy is the way to go, (since that’s how he makes his living). And he tells about lots of case studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of psychotherapy.
I thought, “What the hell? I can be my own analyst, without paying a shrink $100 per hour for months and months. What do they do? They drag details of your life out of your subconscious and by doing so, the reason often becomes apparent, to him/her and to you.”
So, I created a password-protected Word file, and began pouring my heart out to my “analyst”. Since I don’t hold anything back – pour out all the sordid details – and don’t want ANYONE to ever see the file, I use a really strong password, 33 characters in length. Supposedly, not even Microsoft can get into a file without the password, at least that’s what they say. So, I’m comfortable that my file will remain MY secret.
Since I’m not writing for publication, grammar and format aren’t important. I created a chapter, outline, sort of, for distinct segments of my life. I began at the beginning, and wrote (without capitalization or punctuation) short phrases, separated by a semi-colons, (few, if any paragraphs), describing EVERYTHING I could think of about that period of my life. I also included any observations or opinions, as a result of “looking back” decades later.
Before I got even one-third of the way through, I began seeing things that had not been apparent to me before. I thought, “My God, I’ve been carrying all this crap in my head (or subconscious) all these years?” I’m still working my way through my life up to this point, but already my resolve to quit drinking permanently is strengthening. I can see what a devastating effect alcohol has had on my life.
My best,
Roger
Hi!
ReplyDeleteDay 106- Just got back from Thanksgiving. Really went well. In fact it was easily my best visit ever(hometown). I have found that by changing within my outer world is changing. I feel that I am a much better listener(as opposed to drinking where I make the conversation about myself...Always trying to be right-get the last word....controlling)
Roger, In dealing with stress/anger I have tried many, many different solutions. Some of the more significant influences have been 1) "Mind Power"(John Kehoe) 2) "A New Earth" Echart Tolle
3) Cardio(bike) 4) Yoga 5) "The Warrior Diet"(Ori Hofmekler)
6)A Stress relief supplement http://www.naturesherbs.biz/product/1863-5
and http://www.naturesherbs.biz/product/1035-7
Their are so many different products/practices(supplements/Reiki/meditation/massage etc....)
We have to find out which ones work for us. Hi, Michelle! Hope everyone had a Great Holiday!
All the best~
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 107-Made it through another day. Feeling a bit flu-ish......
Hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy~
All the best,
Richard
Day 77
ReplyDeleteRichard, I’m definitely going to read Mind Power. It’s on my list. I’m working my way through a couple of other books first. I read The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr, twice. I’m disappointed in it, in that I didn’t learn anything new; can’t say that I recommend it. Tomorrow, I will receive from Netflix the first DVD of a four-disc series called Addiction.
For the flu, some raw garlic might help. When I get a cold or the flu, I put a couple of cloves in a smoothie, and add some sweetener such as Stevia to offset the taste.
My best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 108. Roger, Thanks for the tips on the garlic w/smoothie. I have not used "Stevia"-thinking of trying it in baking pies etc.. for upcoming holiday as I have negative reactions to regular white sugar. Went to the gym tonight to sweat out any remaining "bug" -really starting to feel better.
All the best,
Richard
Day 77
ReplyDeleteRichard~ I’m such a big fan of stevia that I should be marketing it. I’ve been using it for years. It has no calories, is about 300 times sweeter than sugar, and has zero effect on my digestive system – unlike sugar, saccharin, or aspartame. The only reason it isn’t widely used and available in the U.S., as it has been in Japan since the 1970’s, is purely political. The FDA hasn’t officially blessed it because to do so would have a serious economical impact on manufacturers of other sweeteners.
I order mine from www.fubaohealth.com. They sell Stevita spoonable stevia in a 16 oz container for $14.80. I buy seven containers at a time in order to avoid shipping costs. This amount lasts me about fifteen months. I used ¼ teaspoon in coffee/tea, ½ teaspoon in oatmeal and other cereal, and 2 teaspoons in a smoothie when I add a couple of cloves of garlic.
My best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 109. Thanks Roger. Curious, what is Stevia made of?
Another good day on this end.
All the best,
Richard
Day 78
ReplyDeleteRichard~ I emailed you info on stevia.
The last couple of days I've limited my added sugar intake to 30 grams per day. That does not include the natural sugar in fruit/veggies. I'm doing this to lower my insulin level, hoping that it will help with weight control. Apparently, insulin causes the body to store fat. Anyway, an amazing side benefit is that I'm sleeping much more soundly.
I took my wife to see the movie Australia this evening. Not bad; so-so for me; my wife liked it. Some of her relatives have moved to Gold Coast, Queensland, just south of Brisbane. They really like it; great weather, beaches, etc. I watched a couple of youtube videos on Gold Coast; looks like an exciting place.
My best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 110. Been to a lot of places on the planet-never made it to "Down Under" I here it is beautiful. Thanks for the info on Stevia Roger. I think I will add it to the New Years plan/program. The gal that I live with told me she is starting to take Chantix a week from tomorrow. Really happy about that! Cigarette smoke/smell simply turns me off...Looking forward to hitting the gym tomorrow~
All the best,
Richard
Day 80
ReplyDeleteHanging in there. No challenges. Just wrapping up a three-day weekend. The only activity was seeing a movie and going out to eat once. Truthfully, the weekend was a little boring. I'm going to have to find something to generate a little excitement in our lives. Well, two weekends from now is our anniversary, a day on which we celebrate everything - Christmas, anniversary, and both of our birthdays that are within a month or so of that date. We booked two days in a casino-hotel far away from the hustle-bustle of the Las Vegas Strip. We'll just relax, see some movies in the theater complex on-site, and visit the spa/jacuzzi.
Richard, please keep me updated on your friend's experience with Chantix. My quit day for nicotine is still Feb. 4th.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 111. Roger, will keep you posted on the Chantix. Another sober day. Went to the gym, worked out and took a Yoga Class-feeling good!
All the best,
Richard
Day 80
ReplyDeleteI rented from Netflix the HBO series on Addiction, and I'm learning some good stuff. The series features several M.D.'s and PhD's who say that addiction is a brain disease caused by the brain being physically modified by the drugs, which includes nicotine and alcohol. An interesting point, according to the series: the first ninety days are not the hardest! That goes, the best I could deduce, to the second ninety days, after the "newness" of sobriety has worn off. A really positive thing I'm getting from it: if you make it to the one-year mark, the chances for long-term success increases tremendously. Therefore, I have emblazoned into my mind, Day #365, as the goal I'm working towards.
All the best,
Roger
Day 82
ReplyDeleteI liked the HBO series on Addiction enough that I ordered the DVD from Amazon today. Trying to prepare to quit nicotine 50 days from now. I hope everyone is doing well, and having a good weekend.
Winter has arrived in Las Vegas. The temp is down to 40 degrees tonight.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 113. All is well. Cold! Hope everyone is staying warm~
All the best,
Richard
Day 83
ReplyDeleteThe following is a synopsis of what I learned (sort of) from the HBO series, Addiction, and from the website www.drugabuse.gov.
In a human being that is not addicted to drugs, the brain produces, for various reasons, a feel-good “thing” called dopamine. The reasons might be for things such as good food, sex, music, etc.
Addictive substances such as nicotine, alcohol, heroin, and cocaine cause a rush of dopamine in the brain, resulting in a good feeling.
When an addictive substance is used for a long period, the brain stops, or reduces the amount of dopamine it produces – because it is getting dopamine from the addictive substance. Thus, the brain is modified, or, arguably, “diseased”.
Between “hits”, or when the addictive substance is not used, a person becomes uncomfortable because the brain is not producing dopamine, and is not receiving it from the addictive substance. This is withdrawal. Cigarette smokers, for example, experience withdrawal between “hits”, or smokes.
According to Dr. Nora Volkow, the Director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, when a person stops using an addictive substance the brain can, to a large degree, repair itself and again produce its own dopamine. However, this takes a relatively long time, about TEN MONTHS.
Drug users are under the illusion that the drug gives them pleasure, when in reality it is simply “fixing” the problem that it caused.
The website, www.drugabuse.gov has some good info, including three or four free downloadable PDF files.
Best regards,
Roger
Richard~
ReplyDeleteFor your girlfriend, there is a lot of good info on www.smokefree.gov. Also, the book The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr, is very good, better than his book on quitting drinking.
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 114. Thank-you Roger. Really Interesting... Ten months for the brain to repair itself!......
Thanks for the tips on quitting smoking as well~
All the best,
Richard
hay guys, sorry I have been out of touch. You are using this blog just as I intended. Thankyou
ReplyDeleteall is well here. My husbands 1 yr was on dec 2nd. YEA!!
Day 84
ReplyDeleteMichelle ~
Congratulations to your husband for one year of sobriety! From where I stand here at day 84, that looks like quite an achievement. I’m happy for both of you for changing your lifestyle, and setting a good example for your children. It inspires me, too! Stay on this path, and have a happy, healthy, and productive life.
All the best,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 115. Hi Bell! Congratulations to your husband (and you!)
One year is truly an achievement-certainly a goal to shoot for on this end! Thanks for the inspiration~
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 116. Made it through another day sober!
All the best,
Richard
Day 85
ReplyDeleteMe too! Sober ... and Staying That Way. Hey, that's the name of a book by Susan Powter.
Best to all,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 117. Another good day~ Listened to Susan Powter's book a ways back. (Audio book)
She talked about a supplement program, but didn't actually mention it on the audio.
All the best,
Richard
Day 86
ReplyDeleteI took the big plunge today; stopped using smokeless tobacco; started using Nicoderm CQ step-1 patch. This is the most powerful patch at 21 mg of nicotine delivered over 24 hours, but apparently, it isn’t nearly as strong as the smokeless tobacco I was using. I had a rough day, and felt almost the same as in the past when I “quit” cold turkey. I’m hoping it will get better. Regardless, I’m finished with the smokeless tobacco, even if I have to use nicotine replacement therapy indefinitely. I know I will be using it for “quite some time”. I destroyed about $40 worth of smokeless tobacco, in a similar ritual that I did with alcohol. I took photographs of various steps of the process, for “memories”.
The reason I decided to go with the patch is something I learned watching the Addiction videos. They said that heroin addicts who quit cold turkey without “replacement therapy, such as methadone”, have a relapse rate of 90%, and that those who use replacement therapy are more successful. I thought, “Well, I think that same thing might apply to nicotine.” I have read that nicotine and heroin are about equal in difficulty to conquer. Is that true? I have no idea. For almost everything, you can find opposite opinions by “experts”.
I decided to go with the more expensive Nicoderm CQ rather than the less expensive Equate Step-1 because I have the “feeling” that the original is usually better than the “copy”.
Well, thanks for listening to me ramble, and have a wonderful evening.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 118. Roger, Congratulations on your decision to quit smokeless tobacco! Bravo!~ I agree with you on the experts.....Pretty much anything out there i.e quitting methods, diets, etc.... has an opposite opinion. In the end we have to do what works for each of us.
We hosted a party tonight. I am happy to say that I didn't think about drinking even once!
All the best,
Richard
Day 87
ReplyDeleteRichard, congrats on hosting a party and not thinking of drinking. Chalk this up as a small victory. As these accumulate, you will be more and more confident, and, unwittingly, be setting an example for others who see that it is possible to socialize and enjoy yourself without getting hammered.
You are fortunate that you don’t have to contend with the nicotine demons. From what I have read, there is a strong link between tobacco and alcohol. Some say that it is very difficult to quit drinking if you don’t quit using tobacco. I’m working on it. My plan is to use the Step-1 patch (21 mg) for four weeks, the Step-2 patch (14 mg) for four weeks, and then, on Feb 4th, when my wife goes to visit her mom, stop using all nicotine.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 120. Had a real test last night. An old friend called me and told me he was on his way to town and really needed to talk to me. I picked him up at the train station. He was drunk. I got him back to my place, let him stay over. He then woke up this morning and preceded to start drinking again. I finally had to nicely ask him to leave by 5:00 in the afternoon. He asked me several times to come with him to drink...He even pleaded-I held my ground. Needless to say, he won't be staying with me again until he gets himself together. Really sad/hard to see someone you care about so screwed up...Wish I knew what to do to help him~
Roger, again Congratulations on your quitting tobacco. Please keep me in the loop. My girlfriend just started taking Chantix yesterday, will keep you posted...
All the best,
Richard
Day 89
ReplyDeleteRichard~ I hope you don’t have to deal with something like that again. That was a tough test! I think you were able to deal with it because you have four months of not drinking under your belt, and you’ve been active in maintaining your sobriety with yoga, exercising, blogging, etc. Also, you’ve been able to see positive results with weight loss, less anxiety, and so on. Hang in there! When you deal with something like that successfully, it makes you stronger.
I haven’t had any temptations to drink again, but this endeavor to get off nicotine is tough! I’m on day 4 of the patch, and it feels the same as going cold turkey. I don’t know if the patch is ineffective, or, maybe the nicotine in the smokeless tobacco has been increased since I last tried to kick it, and my body is trying to adjust to the lower amount of nicotine in the patch. Anyway, my resolve is strong to stay on the path I’m on. I’ll be interested to hear about your girlfriend’s experience with Chantix. She might be interested in checking out a website on the “evils of tobacco” at medicolegal.tripod.com/fowler1833.htm. The document was written by a preacher in 1833, and contains numerous links to other sites on not only tobacco, but alcohol as well.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 121. Roger, hang in their. you are now on Day 5! I read online that the homeopathic remedy "Nox Vomica" is helpful with nicotine withdrawal -also found a natural product called "Nicocure".
http://medicolic.com/quitting_tobacco_chewing__wbmy.php
another site:http://www.smokersstopshop.co.uk/homeopathic.htm
I used to chew (off and on) Kodiak for years. It was the natural thing for me:drink and chew. I remember using tea bags(placing bag between lip and gums-mint/wintergreen flavor) to help me finally get off the chew.....So glad I am free of Both!!!
All the best,
Richard
Day 91
ReplyDeleteThanks for the info, Richard. I'll be re-reading your post later, and doing some follow-on research when I return from my "trip". My wife and I are going to spend two nights at Red Rock Casino (Las Vegas) to celebrate everything - Christmas, anniversary, etc. Back on Thursday.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 122. Made it through another day- Roger, hope you have a great time in Vegas.
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 123. Another Day~ All the best!
Richard
Day 93
ReplyDeleteBack from mini-vacation. Things are going well. This is my third day without the nicotine patch. I was so uncomfortable using the patch that I decided going cold turkey couldn’t be much worse, so that’s what I did. The next three weeks will be rough, but it will get easier. I’m eating like a horse, so here comes the weight. It feels good to be completely drug-free … well, I don’t count caffeine, which I don’t plan to quit. (French Vanilla Lipton Tea is my final addition.)
Best regards,
Roger
I mean addiction, not addition.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteDay 124. Welcome back Roger. Congratulations on being patch free.
FYI, my Girlfriend is doing well with the Chantix. Almost one week with very little cravings. Also, no real food increases in her diet~
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 125. Another week. Getting ready for X-mas. Gonna try to go easy on the sugar i.e pies, cookies, cakes!
All the best,
Richard
Day 95
ReplyDeleteAll is well. I’m over the worst part of nicotine withdrawal, and look forward to a drug-free future. No real challenges. I read the following resolution daily:
“I am clean and sober, and staying that way. The idea of ever putting another addictive substance into this drug-free body is repulsive to me. It is not going to happen.”
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 126. Posted another party tonight. Went well.
Congratulations Roger~
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 127. Made it through another weekend~
All the best,
Richard
Day 97
ReplyDeleteToday was gym day (as is every other day). I'm feeling good, sleeping better, controlling my weight.
Will I always be upbeat? No. Is life boring sometimes? Yes. Do I regret quitting drinking? No. Do I regret quitting nicotine? No. Am I going to do what I've down in the past, say to hell with it, and drink again? No. What's different this time? I don't know. I'm more resolved, better prepared (due to failed attempts in the past), and ... I'm blogging. Yep, going public with the "quit-drinking endeavor" is helping a bunch. Also, I review frequently many of my drinking disasters of the past, and thus am constantly reminded of why I'm on the clean and sober path.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 128. A gym day as well. I'm with you Roger. Blogging really has been a friend. Being able to go back and chart your progress really helps.
-Would be nice if we could get a few more folks on here with us as well. Different experiences, viewpoints etc...With that said, I am very grateful for this blog, You and Michelle for helping me make it to 128 days of Sobriety!
Leaving town for the holidays in the morning. Won't be online for a couple of days. Wishing you and yours a Very Happy Holiday Season!
All the best,
Richard
Day 98
ReplyDeleteJust returned from the gym. Doing well. My son is home on leave from the Army. We'll go out to eat on Christmas day.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 100
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas! I hope everyone is enjoying Christmas while visiting with friends and family. I was proud to tell my young son (in the Army) that I haven't drunk any alcohol for 100 days. He is very close to being drug-free - drinks very little caffeine, and very little beer (as in sips), no nicotine, marijuana, or hard drugs. I'm encouraging him not to drink any alcohol at all.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 101
ReplyDeleteIt's the day after Christmas; wife went back to work; hanging around the condo, a no-drinking and no-nicotine environment; ready for 2009.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 104
ReplyDeleteNo problems quitting drinking. Quitting nicotine is hell. Still in withdrawal on day 14; hungry all the time; feel like something is missing. Nevertheless, I'm hanging in there,hoping it will get better in a few weeks.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 135. Just got back to town. Easily the least stressful Holiday season of my adult life. Pleased to say that I made it through christmas sober! I even went out to hometown bars on 2 nights! Tried some N.A. beer (O'douls Amber...) Wasn't bad, nice to change up from water...... Felt quite relaxed in the bars. Only had one drama scene with my brother who was drinking pretty hard.......I am hoping that as I keep living a sober life he will eventually catch on.. Roger, hang in their with the nicotine!
All the best,
Richard
Day 105
ReplyDeleteRichard, I'm glad you made it back, and that you didn't drink during the Christmas holidays.
We have one more holiday to get through this year, and then we will be ready to take on 2009. My wife has to work on New Year's Eve, so I will bring in the New Year watching celebrations on TV.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 105
ReplyDeleteRichard~
I think O’Doul’s might be a good beverage for a beer drinker who might be the designated driver and doesn’t want to drink alcohol for the evening. Or, it might a good beverage for someone who wants to give up drinking temporarily, for religious purposes, for example. Or, it might be a good beverage for a drinker who wants to stay sober long enough to score with the opposite sex. Or, it might be a good beverage for a drinker who doesn’t want to screw-up while out with the boss or co-workers.
However, I do not think it is a good beverage for a person who is quitting drinking alcohol permanently. It is too close to the real thing – the look, the feel, the taste. I feel the same way about Virgin Mary’s, Virgin Colada’s, etc. That’s just my opinion, for better or for worse. Since our objective on this blog, I think, is to exchange info to help us all stay sober, this is my “contribution”. I hope you don’t think unkindly of me for sharing this opinion. I promise that I won’t offer any other opinions or suggestions for the remainder of this year.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 136. Thanks Roger, I understand your point. Being in my hometown with my brother and a bunch of beer drinkers around me it seemed like the right move. Not something I will do as a rule~
All the best,
Richard
Day 106
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!!! Woo, woo. Doesn’t it feel great to get drunk on your ass to bring in the new year?
Well, no, I’m not drinking.
What! No booze on New Year’s Eve? How could that be? It’s almost un-American not to get drunk on New Year’s Eve, and wake up feeling horrible on New Year’s day.
Well, I’ve been sober for a few months now, and I’m starting to get used to never being hung over. I’ve found out that I can have fun without getting drunk. Happy New Year!!! Woo, woo.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 138. Made it through New Years. Happy New year!
Went to the gym today-got a good work out in. Sure is nice to be clear headed and confident. Lovin the clean life! Here's to a Sober 2009!
All the best,
Richard
Day 107
ReplyDeleteRichard~
Back on Nov. 22 I said, "We are going to make it through these holidays, and be among the few people who wake up on the first day of 2009 with a clear head, and ready to face the New Year with hope and optimism." Now I can say, "Told you so."
Here's to a great 2009.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 139. That you did Roger! Now we are both going to make it through the whole of 2009 sober! One day at a time.....
Went to the gym again today-great work out-great day!
All the best,
Richard
Day 109
ReplyDeleteNo problem quitting drinking. I'm very optimistic that I will never drink again. Nicotine is a different story. On day 19, I'm about as miserable as I was on Day 1. And I'm gaining weight. Nevertheless, I am going to continue the battle - for now.
Great gym workout for me as well. The gym is my savior, my friend.
Kinda tired now; may not be coherent.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 140. Roger, Congratulations on 19 days! -My girlfriend is having very good results with the Chantix. I mention this as a possible aid for you. I know that no to people react the same, however she had been smoking for most of her adult life (30+ years). She doesn't seem to be having any withdrawal to speak of. So nice to have her smoke-free!
All the best,
Richard
Day 109
ReplyDeleteRichard, thanks for the update on your girlfriend’s experience with Chantix. I know it has made a big improvement in both of your lives. After living in a smoke-free environment for 20+ years, I can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke. I even have a hard time dealing with smelling smoke on my wife’s clothing, and in her hair, when she returns home from work in a casino. I’ve been on a letter-writing campaign to make the casinos smoke-free, for my own selfish reasons. When my daughter visits every couple of years or so, I send her outside to smoke, no matter the weather.
New subject: here is a recipe I “prescribed” for my wife’s cold that she got because of the stress and extra work during the holidays. I have her eat the following soup concoction, three times daily:
Healthy Choice Chicken Soup (either rice or noodle). Add two cloves of raw garlic (cut-up into small pieces), 1 ½ tablespoons of honey, 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, and 1 teaspoon of lime juice, (either fresh or from prepared concentrate.)
About thirty minutes after she had the first soup, she was feeling better, and her fever was subsiding. She will have the second and third servings of soup this evening at work. This is a yearly occurrence. She gets sick after the holidays, and then I fix her up with my concoction. Oh, additionally, I have her take 2000 mg of Ester-C – a 500 mg tablet every six hours.
I have no doubt she will recover within a few days, and be back to normal.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 141. Thanks for sharing the soup recipe Roger! I have a feeling we will be needing it before the winter is done....I have been reading a bit about the importance of keeping our PH levels alkaline (as opposed to acidic) Two big benefits 1) great way to burn off fat and 2) disease/illness can't live in a Alkaline environment. So far I have found two things that really help with a alkaline PH level. 1) Fresh lemon squeezed in water 2) Aloe vera juice in water
http://best-weight-loss-program.net/obesity/aloe-vera-uses-weight-loss-uses-of-aloe-vera-revealed/
Hope this helps with the weight loss.
All the best,
Richard
Day 110
ReplyDeleteI have an excellent book on acid-alkaline. It is entitled The Acid-Alkaline Diet for Optimum Health, by Christopher Vasey, N.D. The book was published in French, and later translated to English. The author lives in Switzerland. I was into it for a while - bought PH test strips at a pet food store - etc. I even applied it to my drinking by choosing to drink scotch/spring water with the idea that the alkaline water would help offset the acidic whiskey. Interesting that I was concerned about such a thing while poisoning my body with alcohol.
I like the lemon squeezed in water idea - many health benefits in addition to PH level.
I had a good day today. Instead of going to the gym, I exercised at home and then went for a walk/jog. The weather was so cold that I gave it up, came back home, and jumped on the Urban Rebounding trampoline to round out my aerobics.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 142. Read a lot of good things about Rebounding trampolines.
Things are getting steadily better on this end-I know much is due to a sober life!
All the best,
Richard
Day 111
ReplyDeleteThings are going great here. To help relax, I'm drinking chamomile tea two or three times daily, with stevia and the contents of a capsule of Passion Flower. It works! But sometimes it makes me sleepy. I wouldn't want to be operating any machinery after drinking the tea.
I get Solaray Passion Flower at a health store. Each capsule is 350 mg.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 143. The tea sounds good!
Might be nice to put together a list of things we know help relax us(as a sub for booze) Chamomile for sure,,,
All the best,
Richard
Day 112
ReplyDeleteLife is good. I have the gas log fireplace going, and my wife is watching a DVD recording of a Spanish channel. Her cat is curled up at her feet. I say her cat, but I suppose you could say that I adopted the cat when we got married - I mean when I married my wife, not the cat. The cat is 25 years old (about 110 in human years), and we (the cat and I) are in a bitterly fought contest to see which one of us lives the longest. When one of us passes away, it will be a philosophical question about which one of us won.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 144. Tough to compete with an animal that gets 9 lives.....
Doing good on this end. I noticed today on the subway a advertisement for "Jameson" whiskey.(Actually the entire top end of the subway car was covered with them) Amazing how images of these things are shoved down our throats. I don't notice cigarette adds in public much anymore-be nice if they would stop pushing booze advertising in our faces......
All the best,
Richard
Day 113
ReplyDeleteIt’s amazing how much our economy consists of booze-related businesses and the associated advertising that goes with it. If, at this moment, every business related to booze – the producers, the transporters, the bars and nightclubs, the liquor stores, the addiction counselors, etc. – closed down, it would have a major impact on the economy. Hundreds of thousands of jobs – bartenders and cocktail waitresses, liquor store employees, truck drivers that haul the booze, etc. – would be lost. Then there are the taxes that the government collects, sin taxes I suppose you call them, that would be lost.
The same thing is true for the tobacco industry – the farmers that grow tobacco, the manufacturers of tobacco products, the transportation of the products, the retailers who sell the products, nicotine replacement manufacturers – all have a huge economic stake in tobacco. And, of course, again there are the taxes that the government collects.
I doubt seriously if the government has any interest in getting rid of these businesses, especially after the failure of prohibition back in the 20’s. Consequently, not only do we encounter the products everywhere, but also we are bombarded with advertisements on billboards, newspapers, public transportation, television, etc. And that’s just for the “legal” drugs. Illegal drugs are also a huge business.
So, the responsibility for traversing this minefield of drugs, without succumbing to the pitfalls of drug use, falls on the shoulders of individuals - who need to reject drugs with the same resolution they reject a life of crime and its associated consequences. I think one of the most effective ways to do this is to do what you and I are doing – saying, “I’m not gonna do that anymore. It’s stupid. It messes up my mind and my body, and contributes to a shorter lifespan and debilitating diseases. I’m going to spend the rest of my days on this planet clean and sober.”
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 145. Well said Roger~....It's how we choose to deal with it...Focus on other things in life- Made it through another day sober!
Off to rest-long day.
All the best,
Richard
Day 115
ReplyDeleteMy young son, age 23, is involved in his first serious relationship with a woman. Prior to this, he has had limited experience with women. He "likes her a lot". I am concerned because the woman, age 25, an RN, loves to drink, go clubbing, and partying. I get the impression that she has "a lot of experience". I'm trying to convey to him, as diplomatically as possible, that this is not a good situation for him when he has to deploy overseas for fifteen months. Well, I can't live his life for him, but I'm trying to have him look at this as a "fun relationship" as opposed to a "permanent relationship". I'm also concerned that she will corrupt him, and get him started on the drinking path.
Such are the woes of parents concerned about their children.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 146. I guess all you can do is share with him what your feelings are. The rest is up to him....I was in two relationships where I really wanted to get married (fell head over heals/actually more co-dependent...) Looking back I am SO GLAD they both ended up breaking it off. Took me a while to bounce back after each break up...With a little luck he will meet some other ladies over seas-give him a bit more perspective/experiance. Enjoy his 20's!!!!!
Another good day/week! Had a good work out- and Yoga class.
Cold as Sh.....here!
All the best,
Richard
Day 116
ReplyDeleteFeeling good today. I started the day by:
1. Spending 10 minutes on a gravity inversion machine, at about 45 degree down angle.
2. Drinking 1/2 cup of cranberry juice mixed with 1/2 cup of water.
3. Eating 1/2 bagel, bran cereal/soymilk/banana, supplements
4. Later, dance aerobics. I put on cordless headphones, listened to music with a good beat, and danced around the condo for about fifteen minutes.
5. Next up, head to the gym for 30 minutes of aerobics, and about 10 minutes of weight training.
6. Back at home, I will finish the exercises with some pushups, crunches, weights, etc.
7. Then I'll eat like a pig, probably about 400 more calories than I burned off.
8. Spend a relaxing evening watching a couple of movies and SNL, and wait for my wife to come home from work.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 147. Great Job Roger-Sounds like you really have your program down. The work out is key for us to release stress etc.....I look forward to my one big meal each night to!
All the best,
Richard
Day 117
ReplyDeleteTonight, I will watch the Golden Globes while my wife works. What an exciting life! Well, I'm staying sober and out of trouble, feeling good. Kinda proud of myself. Almost four months. Prospects for long-term success look good.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 148. Another day...worked out at the Gym. Life is good!
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 149. Another Gym day- got home and had a big piece of cake for dessert......Not so great for the gut, sort of fun to eat some cake though!
All the best,
Richard
Day 118
ReplyDeleteI've been counting calories to control my weight, but that's getting old. For a change, I've changed to counting fiber grams. Instead of trying the keep the number down, I'm trying to get it up, (the number that is). Yesterday, I had 46 fiber grams; today, so far, about 32. For me, anything above 30 is good.
I have this theory that if you eat plenty of fiber, that keeps the colon clean, and helps control the weight. Is this valid? Does it even make any sense? I have no idea. But it IS different from counting calories. Variety! That's what keeps me going.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 150. A good day today. Started with Fresh Carrot, beet, apple juice with 1 clove of Garlic. Tasted Great! Later made it to the gym. Managed to stay clear of the Chocolate cake tonight! Not sure about the fiber Roger-I would imagine it is a good thing. I try to drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces of water each day. Seems to keep things flowing good~
All the best,
Richard
Day 119
ReplyDeleteThanks for mentioning drinking water. It serves as a reminder to get back on track and start drinking more water, instead of just soda and tea. I need to re-read Your Body's Many Cries For Water by F. Batmanghelidj, M.D.
Our weekend is filled with obligations - dentist and doctor appointments - but we'll get in some relaxing time. I want to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 120
ReplyDeleteWent to a dermatologist today. When filling out the form, there was a question that asked "How much alcohol do you consume weekly?" It was great to write: NONE.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 151. Been on a "Juicing" binge lately......This morning Carrot, beet,
Garlic-Great! Also had my first session in my life with a trainer at the gym~Went real well. Having Fun with NONE!~
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 152. Took a day off from the Gym~Looking on line for natural cures for Dyslexia i.e vitamins/supplements, Juicing etc......
Getting ready for the Big Freeze!
All the best,
Richard
Day 121
ReplyDeleteLife is good. Staying upbeat. Complexion has improved a bunch. Next event to look forward to: inauguration day next Tuesday - watching it is something to do.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 122
ReplyDeleteIt's a routine Friday night - watching TV while my wife works. I'm getting addicted to the reality shows - The First 48, TRUTV Most Shocking, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Cold Case, Forensic Files, Intervention, etc. If you ever wonder what retired people do, that's what I do. I spent my whole working life trying to figure out how to get out of work, and then when I finally retired, I've spent my retirement life trying to think of something interesting and affordable to do. If I were doing it over again, I wouldn't retire; I would continue working as long as possible. (Having said that, I've never found enough ambition to get off my ass and look for a job. I keep thinking, "Maybe next year.")
Best regards,
Roger
Day 123
ReplyDeleteToday is my four-month QD anniversary - September 17, 2008. I’ve decided that the 17th of every month I’ll have a mini-celebration – give myself a treat, such as a favorite meal, a book, CD, DVD, etc. – my reward for good behavior.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 154. Congratulations Roger! Important to give yourself "treats" during special times. Curious, do you have any hobbies?
So happy to be sober on my birthday! can't remember the last time I was sober on my birthday-really a great feeling!! Off to read-then Bed~
All the best,
Richard
Day 124
ReplyDeleteRichard, happy 40th! You’re entering middle age in good shape after “sowing the wild oats of youth”, so to speak. I think youth runs from 0 to 40, middle age runs from 40 to 80, and old age should run from 80 to 120.
Do I have any hobbies? Hmmm. Not really, after I stopped trying to beat sports gambling and horse racing, but you gave me something to think about. Thanks.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 155. Thanks Roger! Had a "quiet" Birthday Weekend-Ate to much!~
Looking forward to getting back to the gym tomorrow and burn it off....
Thinking about fasting once a week(maybe sundays) Perhaps only drink water w/fresh lemon squeezed in it. Give my body a rest from digesting food once a week-
All the best,
Richard
Day 124
ReplyDeleteI buy supplements, particularly All Your Minerals, from www.youngagain.com. The guy who runs it, Roger Mason, says he is a research chemist. He swears by fasting one day a week. I’ve read several of his books, and he always mentions fasting. There’s a lot of good info on the site, even you don’t buy his products.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 156. Thanks for the tip Roger. Another good day. Worked hard at the Gym today with a trainer. Feeling Good~
All the best,
Richard
Day 125
ReplyDeleteSlow day today (MLK) - didn't even get to walk to the mailbox to pick up the mail. Things will be more interesting tomorrow with the inauguration - something to watch on TV.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 157. Watched a bit of the inauguration. I was in Downtown NYC today- (Times Square) A Lot of Folks were partying-sort of like new years...Had a thought (1 second) to go to a bar and "hang" Join in with
the "movement" -used my better judgement and went home....
All the best,
Richard
Day 127
ReplyDeleteWell, Richard, I had a similar thought today. As we sat down to watch my recording of the inauguration, I thought, “It would sure be great to drink some beer right now.” Then, I told myself N.F. way. Although the thought persisted throughout the evening, I made it through okay. I’m okay now, but realize that I have to again get active to maintain sobriety. By that, I mean I have to resume writing in my quit-drinking-file (which I haven’t done for about two months), and reading quit-drinking books. I have gotten too lax, and a little over-confident. Now, it’s back to similar processes I used starting on day 1, mainly reminding myself frequently WHY I am quitting drinking. When I go back and read, completely, my quit-drinking-file, I say, “Oh, my God! What a disastrous effect drinking has had on my life!” And that gets me back on the right track.
I spent three months in NYC back in ’72 – stayed in a hotel on 34th and Broadway – the McAlpin Hotel, which I don’t think is there anymore. I was going to a company school across from the UN building; rode the buses, never ventured onto the subways. Anyway, I really got into the NYC lifestyle, which was a huge contrast from where I lived at the time, North Carolina. At this point in my life, I doubt if I could deal with the pace of life in NYC for very long, but I have promised my wife that I will take her to visit three cities – NYC, Chicago, and DC – sometime in the next year or two.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 128
ReplyDeleteI’m back on track – in good shape – got my mind straight. Reviewing my quit-drinking file did the trick. Went to see the movie Slumdog Millionaire. Excellent!
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 159. Good call Roger. Would be good for me to check my first posts. Sometimes we forget why we decided to Quit!
Travelled up to New Haven via train to do a recording session. Ended up on a bar car(only place that had room) Felt the urge a bit but shook it off.....Traveling can be boring(thus the temptation to drink and "spice things up"...(illusion) Back in New York now- SO GLAD TO BE HOME SAFE AND SOBER!
All the best,
Richard
Day 129
ReplyDeleteI think there might be some wisdom in the AA's saying, "If you don't want to slip, avoid slippery places." Well, anyway, you survived the bar car, and can add another notch on your belt for overcoming temptation.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 160. Thanks Roger. Yoga class tonight..Very Humbling. I need to start practicing away from my weekly class. I am Considering starting
meditation with the hopes of Quieting my mind down naturally~
All the best,
Richard
Day 130
ReplyDeleteFor quieting the mind, don’t forget music - relaxing music, instrumentals such as:
Kevin Kern in the Enchanted Garden
Steven Halpern, Radiant Health & Well-Being
Sharper Image, Real Relaxation
Vivaldi, Four Seasons
Bach at Bedtime
Yanni, Snowfall
Brahms at Bedtime
Beethoven at Bedtime
I put on a CD, use omni-directional cordless headphones, set the volume low, and listen while I move about the condo and do other things (sometimes even while I read or type on the computer).
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 161. Nice list Roger. Have you read "SuperLearning" or
"The Hidden Message in water"? Both discuss how music has a powerful effect on us. Check out Richard Warner's "Spirit Wind" and Earth Spirit by Carlos Nakai.
Another Good day. Gym-had company tonight-good fun!
All the best,
Richard
Day 131
ReplyDeleteThanks, Richard. I listened to a sample of Earth Spirit on Amazon. I'll definitely add it and Spirit Wind to my collection. I like all types of music except rap.
Today was gym day for me. I'm back to alternating between aerobics at the gym one day and exercising at home the next day. For aerobics, I use a cross-trainer which some people call an elliptical machine. It gets my heart rate up without banging up my knees. Having healthy knees and hips is very important for old people. If you ever lose mobility, and can't do aerobics (at least walking), you're screwed; the body deteriorates rapidly.
All in all, a good day. I finished installing a fireplace door. Since I've added one day a week to my life - not nursing hangovers - I manage to get more accomplished.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 162. Another Gym day for me as well. Still Freezing here, but I am looking forward to each new day sober!
All the best,
Richard
.
FYI-Found this site inspirational:http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 163. A Good day-Waiting for the Thaw!
All the best,
Richard
Day 132
ReplyDeleteA good day here also. Time to watch Intervention. I watch the ones dealing with alcohol - have no interest in the ones dealing with food disorders, shopping addictions, etc. Also,I can't stand to watch the pathetic hard drug junkies - heroin, meth, etc.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 164. I've watched intervention a couple of times. I found it really helped, especially if I had any thoughts about drinking....
Worked out today with my trainer...Pushed me good!
Getting ready for a snow storm here.
All the best,
Richard
Day 133
ReplyDeleteI was feeling great today - in high spirits. The thought crossed my mind that it would great to drink some booze. Then I realized that I am most vulnerable to drinking, not when I'm stressed or depressed, but when I'm feeling euphoric about ... whatever. Anyway, I shook off the idea of drinking, and I'm committed to staying clean and sober. I'm enjoying feeling great, managing my weight, and having a better complexion.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 165. Good point Roger~I to share your feelings on that one. Great news etc....seems to trigger the message "Let's go celebrate at the local tavern!"~ Made it through another day Sober!
All the best,
Richard
Day 134
ReplyDeleteA good day for me. Staying busy supporting my children in dealing with life. The news from my daughter, age 44, was positive. She informed me that she is anti-depressant-free for the first time in twenty years. She has struggled with that plus cigarettes and alcohol her entire adult life. I am optimistic that getting off anti-depressants will be a stepping stone for further improvement.
My young son, age 23 - in the Army - is working his butt off, and saying, "This training is brutal, etc.", and generally complaining about all the hard work. I told him, "Welcome to the realities of adult life. Work hard and save your money, and maybe someday you can retire and have the life I have - being bored, and each day searching for something meaningful to do."
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 166. Congratulations to your daughter Roger~I was hooked on Paxil for 7 years and Zoloft for another 2. Doctors.......I finally found some peace and clarity with
1)affirmations (Mind Power)
2) Gym cardio/Yoga
3)Diet( really limit sugar and Fake food)Plenty Off fresh water!!!(Half one's body weight along with a touch of sea salt)
4) Online support group
5) Supplement Program of Evening Primrose Oil, Fish Oil (really helps nerves) along with two Chines herb supplements for stress and Spirulina.....
I believe that each of these has had a powerful effect!
Looking forward to another adventure tomorrow~
All the best,
Richard
Day 136
ReplyDeleteGood info, Richard. I appreciate it.
Our weekend is winding down. My wife has packed for her trip to Colombia - leaves next Wednesday for three weeks. We arranged her flights so that she can spend one day in Ft. Lauderdale with her brother, who has a high-rise condo by the beach.
I’m re-reading an excellent book I read the first time in the 60’s. I lost my original copy, but have often thought about the book. Recently, I found that it had been re-printed, and is on Amazon; so, I ordered a copy. The book is Beyond Success and Failure by Willard & Marguerite Beecher, clinical psychologists. Great book! Not about alcoholism, but makes a few references to it. Only to stimulate your curiosity, here is a paragraph from the introduction:
“Experience has taught us not to expect to keep our New Year’s resolutions! Within a few days or weeks we fall back into our old levels. We greatly underestimate how much of our life is built around our “bad” habits and the joy they give us. We do not want to give them up in the first place; we want only to rid ourselves of the pain they cost us. The alcoholic who gives up drinking is suddenly and shockingly faced with an empty, lonely life. He does not know what to do with himself when is not drinking, as most of his leisure time was spent drinking and almost all of his friends were drinkers like himself. He is suddenly filled with the horrors of sobriety and without anything to put into the vacuum left when he took the bottle out of his life.”
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 167. Good Day. Gym etc.. Healthy Living-
Thanks for sharing the book info Roger~
All the Best
Day 136
ReplyDeleteGym. TV watching. Feeling great. I really like the new TV series Lie to Me.(Everything I just said is the truth.)
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 168. Gym. TV Watching as well.... Cold as SH......Another 60 days and we'll be able to start hanging outside a bit....(hopefully!)
Great to be Sober though!
All the best,
Richard
Day 138
ReplyDeleteI ordered Nakai's Earth Spirit CD, Mind Power, a Pilates For Men book, and a Yoga book. Both books had rave reviews. I already had three Pilates and two Yoga VHS tapes. At this moment, I am copying the VHS tapes to a DVD (using DVR)- putting them all on one disc.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 169. Good day today. Gym etc... I find Nakai's music very relaxing.
Mind Power has really helped me a lot. Good picks Roger!
All the best,
Richard
Day 139
ReplyDeleteEarth Spirit CD arrived today. It's great! While listening to the CD, I imagine that the flute soloist is sitting on a blanket in the middle of the desert at night with a campfire burning. Very relaxing! My wife loves it, too, and insisted that I record it on cassette tape for her to take on her trip.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 170. Glad you (and your wife) like "Earth Spirit" Roger. Really find it very good to unwind with~ Made it through another one.....
All the best,
Richard
Day 140
ReplyDeleteA good day. Managing stressful situations well. Life's problems don't go away when you stop drinking, but you can deal with them with a clear mind. Busy helping my wife get ready for her trip to Bogota in the a.m. I'll be alone with my adopted cat for three weeks. In a way, it's a vacation for me, too, particularly in the area of sleeping "normal" hours.
Tried Yoga yesterday with Ravi Singh's video. I can see the benefits, but it's hard on this old body in the beginning.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 171. I agree Roger. A whole lot easier not being drunk or HUNG-OVER~ Take it slow and easy with your Yoga. I checked out a Ravi Singh video at You tube- Not sure which one you have but these DVD/Vids can be a bit hard at first. Take things slow and easy. Know that their are MANY different styles of Yoga:
http://www.matsmatsmats.com/yoga/yoga-disciplines.html
A beginners Yoga class (looked good)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4DLX0Au9WE
Also found this for stress: relief:http://johnderrick.com/spiritual/meditation/brainev-the-brain-evolution-system/
Interesting concept, various frequencies effect brain waves/function~
All the best,
Richard
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 172. Made it through another one. Real cold here.....1 more day of the "big chill" to get through~
All the best,
Richard
Day 141
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Yoga info. I did another Yoga session today, this time using Gurmukh's video. I think I'm going to stick with the Kundalini style that both she and Ravi Singh practice. I like Gurmukh a little better - a little more aerobically oriented - so I will probably stay with her. (I also like her soft, sexy voice.) The Yoga session was tough! It will either kill me and make me strong.
My oldest son and his wife have been into Yoga for many years, and have made many efforts to get me interested in it. In fact, that's how I ended with the two Kundalini VHS tapes, (that I have copied to disc), several years ago.
Well, I'm going to hang in there with Yoga for a month or so, and see if my body can adjust and cope. I'm also going to work in some Pilates, maybe Yoga one day and Pilates the next. Not sure how my existing exercise program - home exercise and gym - will fit into that plan.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 173. Glad Yoga is working out for you Roger. Real cold here today....Made it through though-Sober! Sad to see all of the homeless folks "living" on the Subways. Had to move an empty whiskey bottle off of a seat on the train today.....Warmer days are coming!
All the best,
Richard
Day 142
ReplyDeleteGood day here. About 56 degrees. My wife said it was cold in Ft. Lauderdale, in the 40's.
My body is a little stiff and sore from Yoga. I'll wait a couple of days before resuming. Today, I did aerobics at the gym. Tomorrow, I'll exercise at home, then try Yoga again on Saturday.
Best regards,
Roger
Day 143
ReplyDeleteI’m on a roll! This time, I’m going to make it! September 17, 2009 is my one-year celebration day! It’s a long time off; however, at this time, I don’t see any obstacles that would derail my quest to stay sober. It feels great! I have to stop lamenting about why I didn’t do this forty years ago. Forget about the past! And no, I’m not going to re-kindle old wounds by apologizing to anyone for past screw-ups. I am going to let my present and future behavior do my talking for me.
I see the booze industry for what it is, legitimate drug-peddling. I’d like to see ‘em bring prohibition back, and this time enforce it. Of course, that will never happen. Our society is too dependent on mind/body-numbing alcohol to help cope with the difficulties of life. Most of the people can’t see that alcohol hurts much more than it helps. But for those of us who have the strength and determination to stop drinking alcohol, we can look out across the landscape of drinkers and rejoice in our sobriety. No more hangovers! No more embarrassment! No more worrying about what we did or said while drinking!
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 174. Well said Roger~ Another day sober! Looking forward to a half of a year clean...
All the best,
Richard
Day 144
ReplyDeleteIt's a rainy day here, and I'm lovin' it! Rain is such a rare occurrence in the desert that, when it comes, it is cause for celebration.
Last night at midnight I started my Casio watch's stop-watch feature, and let the stop-watch run continuously since then. I can see time pass 1/100 second at a time. Because I started the stop-watch at midnight, and it is a 24-hour stop-watch, the stop-watch mode also serves as a regular watch, but with military time. So ... I use the stop-watch, with its fast-moving digital display, to remind me continuously of my SUCCESS in staying sober.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi
ReplyDeleteDay 175. Sounds like a nice watch. I am looking for a watch that I could program to go off at various times during the day. I need reminders when its time to shift into other areas of my day. i.e practice horn, Gym, etc.... Warm here today 49!!! Felt Great!!!
All the best,
Richard
Day 145
ReplyDeleteMy digital watch is an el-cheapo from Target. I just turned on the Stop-Watch feature and left it on. Serves as a 24-hour watch, and makes me feel like I’m racking up sobriety time faster.
Let’s see, multiple alarms, hmmm. I would use the Hourly Time Signal available on most digital watches – beeps every hour on the hour. (Irritating to me.) Always keeps you cognizant of the time.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 176. We had a heat wave here today (59!)......
Went to the Gym-good work out. looking forward to another great week~
All the best,
Richard
Day 146
ReplyDeleteToday was gym for me also. Tomorrow is exercise at home day. Tuesday is Yoga day, which I'm looking forward to. Once I got past the initial soreness and learned not to push myself too hard, I enjoyed the last Yoga session (on Saturday).
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 177. Good Day-Work, Gym-Feeling Good!
All the best,
Richard
Day 147
ReplyDeleteRichard, sorry, but I’m getting bored here, as I am sure you are, too. Where did Michelle go? It’s her website.
I am going to drop out for a while. I’ll stop by occasionally and see if anyone has shown up for the party.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 178. I understand Roger-Let me know if you find a support group with a little more traffic! Will join you there. Thanks and All the best~
Richard
Day 148
ReplyDeleteI'm back. That didn't take long. It's like the kid who runs away from home, and decides "Hey, it wasn't so bad after all."
If I can ever work it into my busy schedule, I'm going to advertise this website so that we can have more people interacting.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 179. A great idea Roger. I thought about that a ways back also.
I did not want to sound ... I Am really grateful for this site and our correspondence. I realize at times my post may be only a few lines. I think just showing up really makes a difference.(Hell we are both sober!...) I agree, it would be great to have more folks experiences and perspectives on here as well.
I have been waking up the last two nights with anxiety and shortness of breath. Nothing to serious-almost feels like my mind emptying out old stress. With that said, I also started to put 1 teaspoon of Aloe Vera in my carrot/apple Juice in the mornings. I have a VERY sensitive system and am wondering if that might be causing it. I had also worked out at the GYM for 4 days straight hard~ 25 miles a day on the bike etc....(Dam Extremes-All or nothing!..)wondering if I just over did it a bit.....
Things seem to be quieting down. Hopefully I will sleep good tonight.
All the best,
Richard
Day 148
ReplyDeleteI’m out of my league making any observations, opinions, or suggestions about dealing with anxiety and problems breathing, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. From my limited, layperson experience I doubt if the aloe vera or excessive exercise are the cause. I would be more inclined to look elsewhere such as supplements being taken, (new or changed), or stress in your life due to work, financial, or personal situations. It might help to read or re-read Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Also, I would replace much of the exercise you are doing with more meditation and yoga.
It sounds like you are overdoing the exercising. For what it’s worth, here is my routine, which is not very strenuous.
Day 1 – Gym – forty minutes (30-min. aerobics, HR=110, 10-min. legs and back)
Day 2- Home Exercise – fifteen minutes (a few sit-ups, pushups, stretches, and 15-lb weights)
Day 3 – Yoga – fifty minutes (Gurmukh video). (This is the most difficult one, but the one I like the best. I have thought of scrapping the gym and home exercise, and just doing yoga. But, in the end, decided that doing all three is best.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 180~ Roger, Thanks for your book. So far so Good!
Read the first two chapters. Going to chip away at it. You defiantly have something going on....
I can see a lot of images of your story in my mind....The only suggestion so far is could you add some pictures of you/dad etc... as a kid etc... Might help things come to life a little more. A thought, why not self-publish online. http://www.lulu.com/en/about/demo.php?cid=en_tab_demo
I have done this with CD baby. My latest recording "Blues Twilight" is available there (as well as a lot of other sites as well) Their is a 50/50 split on all downloads. The days of having physical copies made and distributed are rapidly coming to an end.
All the best,
Richard
Day 149
ReplyDeletePictures might be good for my early life and late life. The years in the middle? Oh, I wouldn't want many pictures of that! Kidding... sort of.
Yeah, self-publishing online is a possibility. I appreciate the tip. It becomes a question of motivation. I'll get around to researching it. Thanks for the website info for LULU online.
I agree with your last sentence: "The days of having physical copies made and distributed are rapidly coming to an end." Even printed newspapers are, I think, on the way to extinction. My first clue was when they started sending me to the internet for "more complete" TV listings. I fumed about it, but gradually accepted it. (I am of the generation that had to adapt to pumping my own gasoline and cleaning up the mess after eating in fast food places.)I'm still fighting self-check-out in stores, but, no doubt, will lose that battle, too.
I had already researched you on the internet - knew about Blues Twilight, watched videos of solo performances (I liked Ain't No Sunshine), etc. I'll definitely add Blues Twilight to my physical copy collection. Since you mentioned traveling to a recording session, I assume you are working on another album. Let me know when it comes out.
Best regards,
Roger W.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 181. Went to an art gallery party then a bar.... Actually had fun~
A lot of talking-good for me to socialize sober. Each time I do it gets a little easier. I do have a bit of a problem with the chatter of the crowd noise. I feel a bit confused with it. It sort of overloads my brain...I was diagnosed with dyslexia a few years back-probably has something to do with it.
I am working on another project/recording-will be a while before this one is done.......
All the best,
Richard
Day 151
ReplyDeleteA good day. Counting the days until my wife returns from Colombia. We talk daily, free through the internet. Well, free for us. I think her sister pays for the service on her end.
Yoga is going great. Finally, I can see why my son and his wife have been so high on yoga. (She went to Indonesia to study with a guru for a month, Rodney something.)I am really a novice at it. It will be several months before my body adapts to the stretching, etc. But even now, I feel great after a session. My long-term plan, as I become more and more ancient, is to do yoga one day and pilates the next, and drop the gym and other home exercises (push-ups, etc.)
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 182. I hear you on the Yoga Roger. Had a private "lesson" with
my Yoga teacher today. Learned the Sun Salutation. Looking forward to my daily practice!
All the best,
Richard
Day 151
ReplyDeleteI received Mind Power today. Excellent book! Thank you for telling me about it. I am going to ensure that my children get the book. I think the book is better than The Secret, which has been a Best Seller for a long time.
Just returned from the gym. Contemplating doing both home exercises and yoga tomorrow.
If I can pull that off, I will be able to get my schedule down to "every other day" for everything I'm doing - gym (aerobics), yoga, and home exercises.
Best regards,
Roger
Hi,
ReplyDeleteDay 183. Officially more than half way to 1 year of sobriety!
Really glad you like the book! Mind Power has had a big influence on me. I do my affirmations every day. Yoga is a keeper for sure~
All the best,
Richard